Open Your Eyes: Detentionaire
by SteveAtwater
Summary: What do you do when a friend gets kidnapped? Do you try and figure out who hypnotized your friend? Get neck-deep in a brainwashing conspiracy? Found a corporation based on lizardman technology? No. You go out and get them back yourself. ESPECIALLY if the kidnapper is leaving you a trail of clues to follow. Takes place post-canon. Originally written as a gift for Dm4487.
1. Calling Out the Dogs

First things first: thank you for clicking on my story. I appreciate all the views I get, so thank you.

This was originally posted on Archive of Our Own as "Open Your Eyes," a crossover involving four shows. The other shows are _Uncle Grandpa_ , _Gravity Falls_ , and _Kim Possible_. Because this site won't allow more than two shows to cross over and I didn't want to just post this to Cartoon X-Overs, I decided to do things differently.

In the original Archive version, each group from each show stays together until a certain point at the end, when they all meet. Prior to that, the viewpoint switches chapters between groups. Since I couldn't do that here, I decided to rewrite the first chapter and have four stories, one for each group. Since this is the _Detentionaire_ story, it's going to focus solely on _Detentionaire_ , and the story will be continued in "Open Your Eyes," which will be posted under Cartoon X-Overs. If you want to read what everybody else is doing, the other fics are "Open Your Eyes: Uncle Grandpa", "Open Your Eyes: Gravity Falls", and "Open Your Eyes: Kim Possible."

This idea was originally proposed by Dm4487 on Archive of Our Own in the comments for my other work "Total Drama: Cartoon Multiverse." I wrote this as a gift for him.

Now let's get on with the story!

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
** **Toronto, Ontario  
** **2 weeks after the Hostile Takeover of Mann, Wurst and Finnwich**

Life was looking up for Lee Ping.

Sure, he still had detention for the rest of the school year. And admittedly, returning to normal life after spending the past couple of months unraveling a huge conspiracy was a bit weird, especially since he kept looking around for things that seemed out of place. And the tazelwurm not coming around as much was kind of a disappointment since the lizard had grown on him as a friend and an ally.

Despite this it was still nice not to wake up worried about lizards, pyramids, or whether his mother was really a clone. Getting his real mother back had been a weight off his mind in more ways than one: not only did he have his mother back, his dad got his wife back and he ended up not being grounded any more. Put a relationship with Tina on top of that and add in that Brandy and Cam had hooked up and that Biffy and Kimmie were together, and Lee had a pretty good thing going on.

Because he wasn't obsessed with solving a mystery, Lee was able to use his homeroom period to proofread a history essay due that day while alternating between paying attention to the news and half-ignoring it. Attention was paid whenever his girlfriend was talking; when Chaz was giving out his particular combination of rumors, insults, and self-absorption, Lee tuned out and focused on his essay.

Suddenly, a video message popped up on his laptop. An unfamiliar old man grinned at him.

"Hey, kid, guess what?" the man asked. Lee quickly muted the message and closed it. He looked up sheepishly to see Mr. Langhorne frowning at him.

"Sorry Mr. Langhorne!" Lee said. "My dad hasn't quite gotten the hang of this stuff and when it's inappropriate to call."

Mr. Langhorne frowned but decided to ignore the interruption. Lee turned back to what he was doing, only for another message to pop up a minute and a half later. Thankfully, this was at the exact same time the bell rang to signal a class change.

"Really, kid? I thought you'd like to–" the old man started to say.

"Uh, sorry _Dad_ , I'm in class right now!" Lee said testily. He shut the window, put his laptop away and headed towards his locker. As he walked there, his cell phone rang. He looked at it, saw it was from an unrecognized number, and debated whether to answer it.

After a few more rings, he picked up.

"Sorry I called you in class," the old man said.

"What do you want?" Lee asked angrily.

"Hey!" the man said sharply. "You're really gonna wanna hear this, kid. It's about Biffy."

Lee's eyes widened and he gasped.

"Now how about we talk face-to-face?" the old man said smarmily.

Lee looked around and then ducked into a nearby empty classroom. He took out his laptop and flipped it open.

"Go ahead," he said into the phone.

Seconds later, a video message from the old man popped up onscreen. The man smirked, ended his phone call, and cracked his knuckles.

"So when's the last time you heard from Biffy?" he asked.

"Why do you want to know?" Lee asked suspiciously.

The old man barked out a laugh. "Lemme guess. It was on Friday?"

"How'd you know?" Lee asked, disturbed.

"Because I kidnapped him on Saturday."

Lee gasped. "You _what_?"

"Calm down, kid, he's safe and sound. For now," the man said. "But if you want to get him back, you're gonna have to follow my instructions very–"

Someone threw the door to the classroom open. Acting on instinct, Lee slammed his laptop shut.

"Well, look what we have here," a familiar voice taunted. "None other than Pingy-Ping-Ping! And where are you supposed to be during your free periods?"

Lee groaned. "Detention?"

"Excellent job, Ping! Why, you're a star pupil except–wait. You're not _in_ detention!" Barrage snarled. "Move it out, private!"

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

Once the door to Fort Nigma shut, Lee quickly set up Biffy's makeshift signal jammer so he could reconnect to the internet. As soon as he did, he saw the old man still there.

"Yeah, I know, right?" the old man said to someone offscreen. "It sounds crazy, but it was our only hope. So I grab the mic, and–"

Lee coughed to get the old man's attention.

"Oh! Ah, uh, hey, kid. Thought you'd given up on your pal," the old man said awkwardly.

"Not likely," Lee said. "But I'm gonna need some proof."

"You want proof?" the old man said. "HEY MINOTAUR BOY, GET OVER HERE!"

Biffy lumbered into the camera's eye. "I told you, I'm just well-built!"

"Oh yeah, you're gonna win an award for architectural design any day now, Tiny," the old man said. "This proof enough for you, kid?"

"Hey, let me see!" Biffy said, leaning down to look into the camera. "Hey! Lee! I'm here! Help!"

"That's enough outta you," the old man said, pushing him away. "Anyway, kid, I'm running out of minutes on this call, so uh, lemme dumb it down for you. We're gonna play a little game of hide-and-seek, and lucky you, you're it. Assemble a team and await further instructions. I'll call you back in an hour?"

Lee checked the time and sighed. "Fine. I'll be there."

The old man signed off.

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

As soon as detention ended and Lee was let out, he sprinted to the locker bank he shared with his friends. He found Cam and Holger waiting there for him.

"Yo, homeslice, how was detention?" Cam asked.

"No time!" Lee said, panting. "Biffy's been kidnapped, and–"

"Biffy? Kidnapped?" Holger squeaked.

"Whoa, is this a prank, ese?" Cam asked, scared.

"No!" Lee said. "Grab some people and meet me in the Genius Club! I have to get a team, and we need all the help we can get!"

"Whoa, hold on, what do you mean–" Cam started to ask.

"I'll explain once we're there, now go!" Lee said frantically before running off.

Cam turned to Holger. "Okay, bro, who do we get?"

"Holger say we get all our friends who helped last time!" Holger said cheerfully.

"Okay, so Brandy–" Cam began.

"Brandy?" Holger questioned. Cam shot him a sharp look. "Okay! Yes! Good! Brandy! And also the Jenny, and Tina!"

"Right!" Cam said. "But Jenny's locker is on the other side of the school from Brandy and Tina. I'll get Brandy and Tina, you get Jenny, cool?"

"The coolest!" Holger said.

"Let's go!" Cam said.

Holger and Cam took off in opposite directions.

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

The first ones to arrive at the Genius Club were Jenny and Holger, who ran in at the same time. Seconds after they arrived, Brandy calmly walked in.

"So, what's going on?" Brandy asked.

Before Lee could answer, Cam and Tina rushed in. Brandy rolled her eyes.

"This had better be important," she said. "I have gym in a couple of minutes."

Lee looked at everyone in the room solemnly.

"Biffy's been kidnapped."

The room exploded into an outburst of questions.

"One at a time, please!" Lee said, upset. "One at a time!"

The room quieted down.

"Tina," Lee said.

"How do you know Biffy's been kidnapped?" she asked.

"Because Biffy's been missing the past couple of days and I got a video message from an old man telling me that Biffy's been kidnapped and I'll have to get a team together to rescue him," Lee said.

Jenny shook her head, confused. "Wait, a team to rescue him?"

"I swear, I'm not making this up," Lee said. "He said he'd call me back in ten minutes."

"So what, we just wait until then?" Brandy asked.

"Ooh, Holger tell story to pass time!" Holger said excitedly.

"NO!" everyone else in the room chorused.

"Sorry Holg," Lee said sympathetically. "Any more questions?"

Cam put his hand up.

"Go," Lee said.

"Yeah, so like, we're going to team up and do _what_ now?" he asked.

"I don't know," Lee admitted. "But we've gotta get Biffy back. Even if it means getting neck-deep in another conspiracy."

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

Lee's phone rang. He picked up.

"Alright, kid, you ready?" the voice on the other end asked.

"Oh yeah, we're all coming for you," Lee said.

"Show me your team," the old man said.

Lee held up the phone to showcase his team. Onscreen, the man shook his head.

"No way, only four of you," he said. "Or else you'll never see Giganto the Minotaur Boy again."

"What? Oh come on, that's totally unfair!" Jenny complained.

"Don't care. Choose four and get your butts moving. I'll call back in fifteen minutes. Oh and by the way there are three other teams, three other victims, only the team that gets here first gets their kidnappee back. So keep that in the back of your heads," the old man said.

"What?" the group gasped.

The old man ended the call. As soon as he hung up, war broke out in the Genius Club.

"Yo, I totally deserve to go!" Cam argued.

"No, Holger from school is most deserving of going!" Holger exclaimed.

"Me and Tina were a huge help!" Jenny put in. "You know, after you rescued us from being captured."

"Alls I'm saying is I was stuck at A. Nigma High, building a pyramid and then fighting to keep it from being finished while you were off doing cool things in some secret submarine base, yo!" Camillio complained. "I wanna go out and do stuff! You know, outside of school, which was still pretty cool, but, y'know, it's still school, ese."

"Didn't you get your first kiss because you weren't with us?" Jenny pointed out.

"Oh yeah!" Cam said. He giggled happily.

"Hey!" Brandy said, insulted. She sniffed. "Well, I don't want to go. My mom would ask too many questions. Although she's been really distracted lately."

"Maybe it's because–" Cam started.

"Don't say it!" Brandy said angrily. "Not one more word, Camillio Esmereldo Martinez!"

"Look, somebody's gonna have to tell Kimmie her boyfriend's been kidnapped," Lee said.

"Not me!" everybody but Holger said quickly.

"Not me!" Holger said a couple of seconds after everyone else. He slumped. "Aw. Okay. But on one condition. I go."

"Whoa, hold on, why do you get to go?" Jenny asked.

"Because they always kafloofashoop the messenger, and Holgermiester does not want to be kafloofashooped!" Holger said. "So Holger will do it, but only if he can go on the adventure!"

"Fine," Lee said. "So, me, Holger, who else?"

Cam sighed. "I guess I'll stay back here if Brandy's going to stay."

"Wow, that's almost romantic," Brandy said.

Cam grinned. "Thanks."

"Okay, Tina, Jenny, you in?" Lee asked.

"You kidding me? Of course!" Jenny said.

"I'm in," Tina said. She frowned. "But our parents will never let us go. They're already freaked out because they thought I ran away and they want me to go to therapy."

"You didn't tell them?" Lee asked, surprised.

"Oh, right, what was I supposed to say?" Tina asked. "That I got kidnapped by a giant corporation as part of a huge conspiracy but you and your friends broke me out?"

"Okay fair point," Lee conceded. "But surely you could have said something to convince them?"

"I told my mom I was studying at Tina's like super intensely because she's a good tutor and that I forgot to call," Jenny volunteered. "But I think she only bought it because she didn't want to think I ran off."

"Yeah, there's no way we'll get clearance for this," Tina said.

"Then we're just going to have to do this the Lee Ping way," Lee said.

"Ooh! Holger from school love the Lee Ping way!" Holger said.

Brandy sighed. "Remind me again, what's the Lee Ping way?"

"Wing it," Lee said.


	2. A Woman Scorned

**A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

Holger stared down the hall at his target.

"It's okay, Holgermiester," he muttered to himself. "You can do this. You can be all Sven Svenson. Yes, Holger from school can do this. No more being scary, Holger. Time to be herohogen!"

He took another look at his target: a tall blonde girl, stylishly dressed and wearing very high wedge heels. He ducked back behind a bank of lockers.

"Or maybe teensy-bit no?" Holger muttered to himself. "Is not that important, yes? Holger doesn't have to..."

"Hey."

Holger screamed and leapt away from the person behind him who had just spoken. Turning around, he saw the girl he was previously looking at staring at him boredly. As Holger continued to quake with fear, she blew a bubble with her gum and then popped it.

"So, any particular reason you're staring at me? Because you should know, I've got a boyfriend." Kimmie blew another bubble. "And even if I didn't, please. I'm way out of your league."

"Um, well, yes! Yes, the Kimmie is far out of Holger's league! Yes!" Holger said nervously. "So far out of his league, it's a good thing the Kimmie is dating Biffy! Yes!"

Holger let out a nervous laugh. Kimmie eyed him up.

"Alright, flashypants, what do you want?"

"Oh, Holgermiester does not want anything, no, not at all," Holger warbled. "Except maybe to be telling you that Biffy is no longer with us because of mean men okay bye!"

Holger moved to run off. Kimmie reached out and snagged the back of his shirt with her right hand.

"What do you mean, Biffy is no longer with us?" Kimmie asked calmly.

"Oh. Well," Holger said nervously. "He has been, taken? By mean men?"

Kimmie frowned at him. "I see," she said flatly.

"But no to be worrying! Lee of Pings has plan for the saving of Biffy!" Holger said quickly.

Kimmie looked at Holger, unimpressed.

"One last question," she said calmly. "Where is Lee right now?"

"In the room at the back of the library oh Holger so scary please stop!" Holger begged.

Kimmie let go of Holger and walked away.

"Oh no. What has Holger done?" Holger asked himself pitifully.

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
** **Toronto, Ontario**

The group was still in Genius Club headquarters, looking to finalize their plans and figure out their cover stories.

"Okay, Cam, you tell my mom what's going on," Lee said. "Brandy, can you say you've got Tina and Jenny staying at your house for some big school project or something?"

"They'll never buy that!" Tina complained.

"Yeah, even if my mom doesn't want to think about me running off there's no way she'll accept that excuse," Jenny added.

"Got any better ideas?" Brandy asked.

The room fell silent.

"Fair enough," Jenny finally admitted.

"Alright, are we ready to go?" Lee asked.

Everybody murmured noises of assent. Right on schedule, a video chat window appeared on Lee's laptop.

"So, kid, you got your team ready?" the old man onscreen grunted.

"Right here," Lee said confidently. "Me, Tina, Jenny, and–wait, where's Holger?"

Holger burst into the room. He was crying.

"Oh, Lee of Pings, I am so sorry!" Holger said. "I told the Kimmie, and she is mad, and, and, and she is, oh, Lee! Holger from school is so scary!"

Holger wept in Lee's arms. Lee comforted his friend while looking around awkwardly.

"So is this like normal behavior for you freaks or what?" the old man asked. "Because I gotta say, I'm not really understanding how you guys are ever gonna solve a mystery or anything."

Lee frowned. "Hey, I'll have you know that we're...uh...Holger, could you stop sobbing on me?"

Holger straightened up, instantly cheerful. "Of course, Lee of Pings!" he said brightly.

"Thanks, Holg," Lee said gratefully. He turned back to the computer. "Look, our competence is not the point. The point is–"

The door to the room flew open and Kimmie stormed in. She grabbed Lee by the front of his shirt.

"Lee. PING!" she screamed in his face.

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
** **Toronto, Ontario**

Everybody stared at Kimmie, surprised. The old man onscreen was the first one to break the silence.

"Whoa, who's this angry woman?" he asked.

"Stow it, gramps," Kimmie said. She turned back to Lee. "What do you mean, my boyfriend's gone?"

"Oh, right, you're his girlfriend," the old man said. "Yeah, I heard about you."

Kimmie looked towards the screen. "Who are you and why are you interrupting us?"

"Who, me?" the old man said smugly. "I'm just the guy who knows where your boyfriend is–well, kinda–and what you've gotta do to get him back."

Kimmie dropped Lee and faced the screen completely. "Do you know who I am?" she asked.

The old man looked her over. "Lemme guess. Blonde, rich, self-absorbed; yeah, I've known a lot of people like you, kid. And lemme tell ya, you don't impress me much."

"Excuse me?" Kimmie asked, shocked. "I'll have you know, my mom–"

"Actually went out and made something of herself, yeah yeah yeah," the old man said. "And you, what have you done? You're either a spoiled brat who never sees her or you're completely under her thumb. Again, heard this story before. Don't really care. Point is, if you ever want to see your boyfriend again, you got one hope, and he's got a really stupid haircut."

"Hey!" Lee said, insulted. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Kid, I'm told you have plenty of great qualities, but trust me, 'style' isn't one of them," the old man said.

"I like his style!" Tina piped up.

"...yeah," the old man said. "Not touching that one. Point is, if any of you want to see Biffy again, you'd better get your four butts down to Detroit."

"Detroit?" everyone asked, shocked.

"Yeah, it's a city in Michigan," the old man said. "You might want to, y'know, get moving."

The old man ended the video chat.

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
** **Toronto, Ontario**

"Well, that's just great," Lee said to nobody in particular. " _How_ are _we_ supposed to get to _America_?"

Nobody said anything for a few seconds. Then Kimmie spoke up.

"Hold on," Kimmie said. "Let me just try and understand this. Biffy has been kidnapped by some weirdo _not_ related to my mother, _maybe_ , in order to set up a humongous trap for all of _you_ losers, in order to do who knows what?"

"Yep, that's pretty much it," Brandy said.

"Yeah, ese, that's all we know," Cam added.

Kimmie rolled her eyes. "Fine. I can get you to Detroit."

"What? How?" Lee asked, surprised.

"My mom may be...evil, and frozen in crystal...but...we're still rich," Kimmie said. "If it's buyable, I can get it for you."

"Gee, thanks–" Lee started to say. Kimmie stepped forward and hauled Lee up by the front of his shirt.

" _But_ , if you don't bring Biffy back, I will END you," she told him.

Lee gulped.

"Got it," he said nervously.


	3. Motor City Autopsy

**A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

"You mean it, chica?" Cam asked. "You're really willing to help us?"

Kimmie rolled her eyes. "I said I would. Don't make me regret it."

"Alright, alright, good," Lee said. "But uh, I still gotta ask: _how_ are we getting to Detroit?"

Kimmie let out an exasperated sigh. "You can use my limo. Don't get _anything_ on the seats."

"Um, thanks, Kimmie," Tina said. "Wow. I never thought you'd be this helpful."

Kimmie's eyes narrowed. "Well, he _is_ my boyfriend. Speaking of which, why are you going?"

"Hey, I'm pretty good at detective work," Tina said.

"It's true, she is," Jenny said.

"Fine, whatever. Just–get my boyfriend back," Kimmie said.

"Can do, for Holgermiester is on the case with his magic powers!" Holger said happily. He placed his fingers to his temple and shut his eyes. "Fa-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na–"

* * *

 **Detroit, Michigan**

Four hours later, Kimmie's limo rolled through the border into Detroit. Lee, Jenny, Tina, and Holger were all in the back, and a white hazmat was driving.

"How come we didn't get stopped?" Tina asked.

Jenny shrugged. "I guess sometimes it pays to be rich."

"Well that isn't right," Tina said.

"Look, it worked out for us this time," Lee said. "Let's not push it, okay?"

He smiled at Tina. The corners of Tina's mouth quirked upwards.

"Yeah, the more pressing question is what we're even supposed to be doing in Detroit," Jenny said.

Suddenly, the limousine shook and skidded to a stop. The passengers got out and saw that the tires had all blown.

"What the heck?" Jenny asked.

"Ah-ha!" Tina said. She pointed to a spike strip that had been placed on the road behind them.

"Why would somebody spike us?" Lee wondered.

"Holger's magic powers tell him this was supposed to happen," Holger said, nodding happily. He stopped and frowned. "Wait. Why would magic powers be telling Holger this was meant to happen?"

"Well–what do we do now?" Tina asked.

Jenny and Holger shrugged. Lee took out his cell phone and looked at it. It was dead.

"Hey, I forgot to charge my phone," he said. "Does anybody have a working one?"

The rest of his friends took out there phones and looked at them. They had all forgotten to charge them up.

"Sorry Lee!" Holger said.

"Yeah, sorry," Jenny added.

"Wait," Tina said. "Wasn't there a phone in the limo?"

Lee's face lit up. "Great idea!" he said, and climbed back into the limo, where the was indeed a car phone. He picked it up and dialed Kimmie's number. On the other end of the line, Kimmie answered.

"What," Kimmie said flatly.

"Uh, yeah, we kind of got four flats and–"

"Get the driver to fix it," she told him.

"Hey, yeah," Lee said. "Where is the driver, anyway?"

Holger rushed over to the driver's door and pulled it open. A deactivated robot flopped out.

"This isn't good," Tina said.

"Yeah, no kidding," Jenny said.

Lee looked up at the house in front of them.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked.

The group stopped and stared at the house. It was a large Victorian, covered in peeling gray paint, with curtains over every window and no lights on at all. The grass was all dead, and the porch looked like it would collapse if anybody stepped on it.

"Is it, run?" Jenny suggested.

"Yep," Lee said.

"Oh, no no no no no!" Holger said quickly. "Holger's magic powers tell him that inside we must go."

The trio looked at him like he was nuts. Holger began walking up the walkway to the door.

"Holger, stop!" Lee yelled. He ran after his friend and grabbed onto him, trying to drag him backwards.

"Lee of Pings!" Holger said, shocked. "You should know that Holgermiester's magic powers are never wrong! Never!"

He shoved Lee off and knocked on the door. It slowly swung open.

"Can Holger enter?" Holger called into the darkness.

After a few seconds, a raspy voice spoke.

"Enter," it said.

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

"So, got any news?" Brandy asked her boyfriend.

Cam shook his head. "Nah, chica. He hasn't called me. You think I should call him?"

Brandy shrugged. "He's probably off doing some spy thing and you'll blow his cover."

"Yeah, you're right," Cam decided. "I'd still like to know what they're doing though."

"He's stuck in Detroit with flat tires."

Cam and Brandy whirled around and stared into the unflinching face of Kimmie McAdams.

"Okay, like, _how_ do you know that?" Brandy asked suspiciously.

Kimmie popped her gum. "He called me. After he ran over a spike trap. Gotta say, you really pick winners, Brandy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brandy asked testily.

"A prankster, the ex-president...who's next? A bag of garbage?"

"Hey!" Cam said angrily. "We're not breaking up!"

"Of course _that's_ what you'd object to," Brandy said sourly. "Well, Kimmie, as it turns out, the prankster is the only hope for you to get your detentionaire boyfriend back." She turned on her heel and strode off. "Cam-cam, we're going. Now!"

Cam followed his girlfriend away. Kimmie smirked as they walked off. As soon as they were out of sight, the smirk dropped off of her face and a look of worry replaced it, although she quickly brushed it off as Druscilla and McKensie joined her in the hall.

* * *

 **Castle Harker  
Detroit, Michigan**

"It was very nice of you to let us in, mister..." Jenny said to the lanky looming man who had let them in.

The man smiled. "Think nothing of it. It is so rare that we have...houseguests."

"Well, anyway, it was nice of you to do this while we waited for our car to get fixed," Tina said.

"Yes," the man replied, "although I'm afraid it may take a little while for the repair service to arrive. Perhaps not until tomorrow."

"That reminds me, could I use your charger?" Lee asked. "I'd like to charge my phone, and–"

"Phone?" the man inquired. "What phone?"

"Uh, you know, my cell phone?" Lee said.

"Oh, of course!" the man said. "We don't have one."

"You don't have..."

"A charger, no."

"Oh. Well, why not?"

"There are no phones in Castle Harker."

Lee raised an eyebrow.

"But come, my friends!" the man said happily. "Come, and partake of my wine!"

"Um, no thanks," Tina said.

"Wait," Jenny said. "What kind of wine?"

"Oh, but we are not old enough for the alcoholic beverage drinking!" Holger said.

"Gee, thanks, Holger," Jenny said sarcastically.

"No, it is very old wine," the man said. "Quite good."

"We'll go without," Lee said.

"Very good," the man said. "But if you change your mind, the offer is available."

"Thanks, but we'll just wait for the repair service," Tina said.

"As you wish," the man said. A slight smile caressed his lips. "After all, Castle Harker is always good to its guests."


	4. Blood and Eternity

**Castle Harker  
Detroit, Michigan**

Three hours later, the group was still stuck in Castle Harker, waiting for a mechanic. Holger had dropped off to sleep, Lee was trying to amuse himself by twirling a pen between his fingers, Tina was examining everything in the room for the fifth time, and Jenny was lazing on a couch, testing whether it was possible to become so bored it wrapped around to some other emotion.

The tall man came back downstairs.

"She's ready to see you," he said. The group rose, but he raised a hand to halt them. "Not all of you. Just...you, miss..."

"Jenny," Jenny said, walking forward. "Why me, though?"

A smile graced the tall man's lips. "Madam Harker prefers to see the leader of the pack."

"Huh," Jenny said, smiling. "Well, you should know that Lee's in charge."

"Is it?" the man asked. "Because I think Miss Harker would much prefer to see you."

Jenny shrugged and ascended the stairs. The tall man followed her.

* * *

 **Upstairs Castle Harker  
Detroit, Michigan**

The man led her to a dark room, ushered her inside, and shut the door. Jenny blinked, unable to see anything in the darkness.

A flame flickered on, and Jenny blinked. The flameholder raised the small flame to a cigarette, waited until it caught, and abruptly shut the lighter off. The end of the cigarette burned orange-red in the darkness of the room.

"Do you mind?" Jenny asked, waving a hand in front of her nose. "Those things cause cancer, you know."

A soft, warm chuckle emanated from behind the cigarette.

"My dear," a feminine voice said, "cancer is not a concern."

"Uh, no, I'm pretty sure it is," Jenny said.

"Not for me," the woman said. "And not for you, either."

The cigarette bobbed as the person behind it walked towards her. Jenny tried the doorknob and found that it was locked.

"Um, okay, miss creepy, maybe you could let me out now?" Jenny said, worry pulling at the edges of her voice. "This is, uh, this isn't exactly normal behavior."

The woman chuckled again and lifted the cigarette away from her lips.

"I'm not a normal woman, either."

"Uh, say what?" Jenny said nervously.

The woman placed the cigarette against her lips and took another drag.

"I'm not a normal woman. But don't worry. Soon you won't be, either."

The woman pulled the cigarette away from her mouth. Jenny's eyes followed the orange tip as the woman held it in midair before dropping it on the floor and stomping out the flame.

"I believe it's time for dinner," the woman said calmly.

Jenny heard the sound of shifting clothing and instinctively swung her fist. It connected with a sickening crack. The woman dropped to the floor.

Jenny yanked on the doorknob and managed to pull the door out of its lock. She ran down the hall.

* * *

 **Downstairs Castle Harker  
Detroit, Michigan**

"So what do you think she wanted to talk to Jenny about?" Tina asked her boyfriend.

Lee shrugged. "I have no idea. I just hope it's about getting a mechanic so we can figure out what we're supposed to be doing in Detroit."

"Yeah," Tina sighed. She smiled at her boyfriend. "Still, it's not too bad, right? I mean, being together. And it's not like this is a new situation."

Lee chuckled. "Yeah, I gotta say, even though Biffy's gone this is a lot more low-stress than when you and Jenny were missing."

Lee and Tina stared in each other's eyes and smiled. They slowly moved their mouths towards each other.

And kissed.

The kiss was soft and slow and languid and long-lasting until Jenny screamed at them.

"GUYS! WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

Holger shot up, landed on his feet, slipped, and fell flat on his back. Lee and Tina leaped away from each other guiltily. And Jenny ran down the stairs into the parlor.

"What is the meaning of this?"

The group looked up and spotted the tall man leaning against a banister. Jenny shrieked and ran for the door. She attempted to pull it open but found that it was locked. She looked down and saw that there was no way to unlock the door from the inside.

"Oh come on!" she complained. "Who puts the locks on the outside?"

"I do," a female voice hissed nasally. Jenny spun around and pressed her back to the door, scared. Her friends merely looked confused as an attractive blonde woman stumbled into view, holding her bleeding nose.

Holger shrieked and ran over to the door. He shoved Jenny aside and began beating on the door with his fists, trying to find a way out.

"Holg, what's wrong?" Lee asked, concerned.

"THE VURSTRELDAMEN!" Holger yelled, scared. "Do you not sense it?"

"Uh, no?" Tina said.

Still holding her nose, the woman made her way to the stairs and began walking down them. Tina looked back at the woman, and her eyes widened.

"Lee?" she asked nervously. "Do you see what I see?"

"I'm not even sure what I'm seeing," Lee said.

"Lee!" Tina said, scared. She grabbed Lee's head and turned it so he was looking at the woman. "Is her blood black?"

Lee's pupils shrunk from shock and fear.

"Um, yes, I think it is," he said quietly.

The woman removed her hand from her nose, revealing black blood staining the area around her mouth. She opened her mouth and hissed, revealing a set of very, very sharp white fangs.

* * *

 **Toronto, Ontario**

"So, you heard anything from Kimmie or Lee?" Cam asked.

"Not since you called me an hour ago, Cam," Brandy sighed. She twirled the phone line around her finger as she lay on her bed.

"I'm starting to get worried," he admitted. "I mean, I know it's Lee Ping, but I'd still like some updates on what's going on, yo."

"Oh, come on," Brandy said. "How much trouble do you think he's in?"

"Uh, chica, an attempt to prove he didn't commit a gigantic prank led to us, okay mostly him, but me and you also, uncovering a gigantic conspiracy involving the world's most hugest corporation, a magic pyramid, and cloned teachers," Cam said. "Lee doesn't do _anything_ halfway, yo."

Brandy laughed. "He also took on Kimmie's mom, _and won_. There's no way he'll have to deal with any monster half that frightening."

* * *

 **Castle Harker  
Detroit, Michigan**

Tina and Lee backed away from the woman as she dismounted the stairs. Their backs bumped up against the window at the front of the house.

The woman hissed as she approached them. She locked eyes with Jenny.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said angrily. "Do you know how much it _hurts_ to bleed?"

"Not as much as this, I'll bet!" Lee declared, and pulled the curtains aside.

Nothing happened.

Lee turned around and goggled as he realized that the window itself had been painted over with black paint.

"Oh come on!" he complained. "Windows painted black? Who does that?"

"Her, apparently," Tina said.

The woman threw back her head and laughed mirthlessly. "Yes! Me, apparently! And who's going to bleed you dry?"

"No to worry!" Holger said as he continued to pound on the door. "Holger will use his magic powers to save us all!"

Holger put his fingers to his temple and concentrated. "Fa-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na..."

Holger continued to recite his endless litany. The vampire stopped and tilted her head, confused. Jenny took a deep breath, shut her eyes, and threw a punch into the window. It reverbated but didn't break. Tina realized what Jenny was attempting, and threw a punch herself. Lee joined them in beating on the glass.

The woman laughed again. "Do you really think that'll save you? It's dinnertime, children, and you're all on the menu!" She looked over to Holger. "And SHUT UP!"

Holger stopped his attempt at activating his powers. A crack appeared in the glass. Lee and Tina continued to pound on the window, and the crack widened. Jenny stared at the crack and threw a jab directly into it. The crack spread through the glass, and they stopped beating on the window.

The vampire's eyes widened and she stopped in her tracks.

Jenny smirked and gently pressed her finger against the cracked pane. It held for a bit before shattering completely into a heap of black-painted glass. The day's last rays of sunlight flowed into the room and struck the vampire.

"No!" she hissed. "No. No! NO!"

The vampire burst into flames. She howled, a wordless cry of pain and death, as the fire spread through her body like she was made of dry brush, as it burned and burned and consumed her until she was nothing but ashes.

And then the fire spread to the carpeted floor of the house.

"Run!" Jenny yelled. The instruction was unnecessary, as at the sight of the carpet catching fire, everyone had realized what they had to do. Lee and Tina were the first ones out, leaping through the windowframe together, but they were followed by Jenny and Holger.

And as they ran away from the house and gathered in the street, one last figure ran out of the house.


	5. Goodnight Domino

**Outside Castle Harker  
Detroit, Michigan**

The group ran into the street and stopped there. They watched as the tall man ran out of the house. He made it a few feet before collapsing onto the dead grass outside.

"We have to help him!" Lee said.

"Are you nuts?" Jenny said, shocked. "He tried to help her eat us!"

By this time, Lee had already run back towards the house. He grabbed the man under the armpits and dragged him off the grounds and into the street. He let go of the man, and the group gathered around him. The man lay on the asphalt, eyes shut and body still.

"No flames," Holger said. "Not the vurstreldamen, yes?"

The group looked at him. Tina was the first to catch on.

"You're right," she said. "If he was a vampire, the sun should have set him on fire by now."

"But then, what is he?" Lee asked.

Jenny grabbed the tall man by the collar and slapped him across the face. The man's eyes flickered open and he stared at her dully.

"Is this..." he muttered before falling silent.

"Is this what?" Lee asked urgently.

The man said nothing. Jenny slapped him again. The man's eyes opened again. He looked surprised.

He said "Do that again."

Jenny backhanded him this time. The man's head jolted to the side and he broke into a ragged, cackling laugh. He reached out, grabbed onto Jenny's shoulders, and pulled himself upright, laughing all the way.

"I can feel!" he choked out. "I can feel! I felt that! This is real!"

The group watched him, worried and disturbed.

"Okay, uh, majorly creepy!" Jenny said, backing away from him.

The man scanned the group, eyes manic. "You!" he said. "You saved me! You saved me from her!"

"Hold on, _what's_ going on?" Tina asked.

The man took a few juddering breaths to try and calm himself.

"Do you know how long it's been?" he finally said. "How long I've waited? How long I've been her unwilling slave?"

Everyone but Holger gasped. Holger instead nodded knowingly. "Ah, yes, a junterajin."

"She called me her thrall," the tall man said. "Someone to do what she could not. To entice victims, to go out in the day, to lay traps, to do everything to feed her abnormal hunger." He shuddered. "I was unable to disobey her commands. Not the letter nor the spirit of them. I have...I have harmed hundreds for her."

The man fell silent. He looked down and flexed his hand. As he did so, a smile spread across his face. He looked back up at his rescuers.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Alright, but what did she want with us?" Tina said, all business.

The man took a deep breath and let it out. "To feed on you. To bleed you dry. Before she leaves."

"Before she leaves?" Lee asked, surprised.

The man took a deep breath. "It's hazy. I...I tried to forget, you know. Every second, I tried to be unconscious, where only the dreams can torment me. I tried to sink away from reality."

"But?" Tina prompted.

"But there's a gathering," the man said. "I think. In Chicago. The Peninsula, I believe. It starts at 11."

"When?" Lee asked.

"Today," the man said.

Lee's face gained a disbelieving expression. "You're kidding me. What were you doing luring us in, then?"

"Opportunity," the man said. "And I think she wanted a snack before she left."

"A snack?" Jenny said, offended. "That's all we were, a _snack_?"

"Oh, like that's a bad thing," Tina snarked. She turned to Lee and pulled him aside. Jenny and Holger joined them in a huddle.

"Do you think this is what we're supposed to be doing?" Tina asked quietly.

Lee grimaced. "I don't know. It seems a little too coincidental."

"Like a high school prank being cover for a brainwashing scheme?" she suggested.

Lee smiled slightly. "You're right. We're probably on the right track here."

They turned back to where the man had been only to see him wandering off.

"Hey!" Jenny barked. "Where do you think you're going?"

The man looked back at them. "I have a life to live! I can't wait to actually _experience_ things again!"

"Well do you have a name?" Tina called to him.

The man smiled. "Domino!" he said happily. "Domino Maroe!"

The man made his way down the road. The group looked at each other.

"Well, what now?" Tina asked.

"I guess we start walking and hope to find a phone," Lee said. "I can't believe we all forgot to charge ours last night."

* * *

 **McAdams Residence  
Toronto, Ontario**

Kimmie sighed as she stared around the walls of her room. Much as she hated to admit it, her life wasn't much different without her mom around. Granted, there were fewer passive-aggressive comments and fewer trips to Paris for weekend brunch, but most of her interactions at home were still with the staff, and she spent more time than she would have liked to admit in her room, sprawled on her bed. When Druscilla and McKensie were busy, there wasn't really much for her to do; going to the mall alone (or for that matter, going anywhere alone) was for losers, and homework was all too easy for her–and not just because her mother had insisted on private tutoring for her through grade school. Without Biffy to bug and her nails freshly painted, Kimmie was left with nothing to do but lie on her bed and think.

Suddenly, Kimmie's cell phone rang. She picked it up, looked at the screen, and frowned. It was an unknown number. Something in her gut twisted, telling her that answering calls from unknown numbers was a bad idea, although she didn't have any reason to believe this. Kimmie shook her head and answered the call.

"Who is this?" she asked curtly.

A nervous chuckle came from the other end of the line. "Kimmie, hi!" Lee said.

"You find my boyfriend yet?" Kimmie asked, a touch more eagerly than she wanted to.

"Uh, yeah, about that," Lee said awkwardly. Kimmie scowled. "We, uh, kind of need a lift? To Chicago?"

Kimmie massaged her forehead, making sure it was smooth and wrinkle-free.

"Why?" she finally asked.

"Because the limo has a bunch of flat tires and your robot driver isn't working," Lee said.

Kimmie grit her teeth. "Fine," she spat. "Give me a minute."

"Wait!" Lee said quickly. Kimmie paused. "We're calling from someone else's phone. Our cells are all dead."

Kimmie rolled her eyes. "Fine. Call me back in ten minutes."

Kimmie hung up and pressed a button on the intercom. "Saunders. I want a helicopter at the Detroit offices ready to make a trip to Chicago in half an hour, and a company car ready to pick up some friends of mine and bring them to the offices."

There was a pause of a few seconds before the butler responded. "Madam Kimmie, are you sure this is a good idea? Your mother–"

"My mother won't care," Kimmie says sharply. It's a lie, her mother would probably throw a fit, but she's not here right now. And besides, having an evil mom suddenly makes it a lot easier to disobey her commands. "Now have the helicopter and the car ready. I will have a pickup location ready for the car in ten minutes. Do you understand?"

She could practically see the butler adjusting himself into his stiff formal posture and straightening his bowtie.

"Of course, Madame Kimmie," Saunders said. "I will send your instructions through and be ready for your location momentarily."

* * *

 **Somewhere in Detroit, Michigan**

The group sat on a street corner as they waited. They had managed to procure the use of other people's cell phones twice, but they still weren't sure if Kimmie was actually going to help them.

"So, how are we getting out of here?" Jenny asked.

Tina shrugged. "I'm sure Kimmie'll do something."

Jenny snorted, disbelieving. A large black car pulled to a stop in front of them and the passenger-side window rolled down, revealing a businesslike woman.

"Lee Ping and loser friends?" the woman asked.

"That's us!" Holger said cheerfully. "Oh, we are saved!"

"Get in the back," the woman said.

The group got in the back and the car drove off.


	6. Under the Surface

**MWF Offices  
Chicago, Illinois**

The helicopter landed on top of a skyscraper in Chicago. The group got off the helicopter and shakily walked over to the roof's entrance.

"So, we know our plan?" Lee asked, just to make sure.

"Yeah, but this is crazy!" Jenny said. "Won't they be able to like, sense our blood or something?"

"No, vurstreldamen cannot smell blood," Holger said. He tapped his chin. "Holger thinks they cannot."

"Great," Jenny sighed. "So we're just going to waltz into a giant vampire gathering hoping that somehow we'll be able to stop them all?"

"No, we're going to try and figure out what the heck they're doing," Lee said. He frowned. "That, and how it's connected to Biffy."

The group boarded an elevator and headed for the ground floor.

"I still think this is a bad idea," Jenny said.

"So do I," Lee said. "But I can't think of anything better, can you?"

Jenny sighed. "No."

"Not without leaving Biffy behind," Tina said. "And that's definitely not an option. The hotel's two blocks north, right?"

"Yeah," Lee said.

The elevator arrived on the ground floor. Jenny spotted a clock.

"It's eleven forty-five," she said. "We'd better get going."

The group exited the building and headed north towards The Peninsula.

* * *

 **The Peninsula  
Chicago, Illinois**

Several doormen and bodyguards were posted at the entrance of The Peninsula. The group eyed them but kept walking. As soon as they were past the hotel, they ducked into an alley.

"Well, that was a bust!" Tina whispered. "What now?"

"I don't know!" Lee whispered. "I didn't expect guards!"

"You didn't expect guards at a giant vampire gathering?" Jenny asked, incredulous. "Of course there were going to be guards! Even that crazy lady had a guard!"

Holger grabbed Lee's head and turned it to the side.

"What is it, Holg?" Lee hissed, annoyed.

"Look!" Holger whispered. "The answer to our vurstreldamen problem!"

Lee looked closer. He smiled. The girls followed his gaze and saw a fire escape with the ladder down.

"Great, breaking and entering," Tina said to herself. "Just what I planned to do when I woke up today."

"It's not technically breaking and entering if we don't break and enter," Jenny said. "Just trespassing."

"Well that makes me feel so much better!" Tina snapped. "Wait. How do you know that anyway?"

Jenny shrugged. The group went up the ladder with Lee in the lead. After a few floors, Lee stopped.

"Okay, there's no way we can get in without tripping a fire alarm," he said.

"Allow Holger," Holger said. He stepped forward and took a deep breath.

"HELLO!" Holger yelled. "CAN ONE OF YOU PLEASE LET US IN, PRETTY PLEASE?"

A few seconds later, a balcony door slid open and a woman stepped out onto the balcony.

"Who are you people?" she asked, shocked.

"We are hunters of the vurstreldamen!" Holger told her. "Now can we please come in, pretty please with lots and lots of pickled herring on top?"

The woman gaped at him and then threw her door shut as she ran back into her room.

"Great," Jenny said sarcastically. "Now she's called the cops on us."

Lee sighed. "What do we do now?"

Jenny winced and pulled a rock out of her pocket. She raised it in her right hand and smashed it against the window in the fire escape door. The glass shattered, and she knocked a few pieces away before reaching in and pulling the door open. The group headed in accompanied by the sound of the door's alarm going off.

"Okay, that blew our cover," Lee said. "Only one thing to do."

The group took off running. Lee spotted a stairwell and swerved into it. He led them up a pair of flights and then ducked out. The group ran over to a storage closet and shut the door. They stood in darkness until Tina found the light switch and turned the lights on.

"This isn't going well," Holger said. "Holger think we should try something different."

"Oh yeah, what?" Jenny asked sarcastically. "Because our options are kinda limited here!"

"Okay, calm down," Tina said, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Let's just think about this."

"Yeah," Lee said. "Let's try and come up with a plan."

Holger grabbed Lee's shoulder and pointed upwards. The group followed his gaze to a vent cover on the ceiling of the closet.

"Okay," Tina said. "I guess we've found step one."

* * *

 **The Peninsula  
Chicago, Illinois**

The group crept through the spacious vents. They made their way to a vent cover in the hallway and looked out. Everything was quiet, and the elevators were just a bit away.

"Okay. So," Tina said. "We leave the vents, get in the elevator, take it down to the second floor, get back into the vents, crawl down to the first floor, and spy on the vampires to figure out what's going on."

The others nodded. They disembarked from the vents and called the elevator, got out on the second floor, and climbed into the vents again. They made their way down into the vents in the first floor ceiling.

"So where is this gathering, anyway?" Jenny asked.

Holger smiled. "Magic powers, go!"

Holger began crawling through the vents. The rest of the group followed him as he led them to the ballroom, where the vampires were all gathered. The group peered out of a vent and watched as a vampire stepped up to the podium below them.

"Greetings, my friends!" the vampire proclaimed. "It's wonderful to see you all again here in Chicago. I realize that many of you had to travel quite some distance; we sent invitations to Detroit, Cleveland, Indianapolis, even Nashville! Thankfully, most of you made it here to discuss our next move."

The vampire began pacing the stage. "Over the past few years, we've infiltrated city after city, making sure that we could be lost in the crowds. Making sure that nobody would notice a slight uptick in disappearances. Hoping that no one would realize that the homeless population was ebbing. And thankfully, nobody has figured it out yet. Still, our ranks have grown a bit, so I propose that we move onwards and upwards. I propose that we take on St. Louis!"

"Now, I understand why some of you might have problems with this proposal. After all, it's St. Louis we're talking about. However, I believe that St. Louis is the logical next step, and we have set up an investigative force in the city to examine whether it is a viable target. If we're lucky, we will be able to take St. Louis with no trouble, and we'll be able to continue, nay, expand our reign!"

The crowd cheered. The group leaned closer to the cover of the vent.

"Our group is currently located in an apartment building located at 702 Desert Avenue. They have thus far been successful in St. Louis. With any luck, we'll be able to–"

The vent cover popped open and the four crashed through onto the ground. When they stood up, they found the vampires staring at them.


	7. Pour the Champagne

**The Peninsula  
Chicago, Illinois**

"Heh. Heh. Well, this is awkward," Lee said, standing up. "We were just, uh, up there, in the vents, just looking for, uh–"

"Beavers!" Holger butted in. "We are beaver inspectors, yes? Here to make sure you don't have any problems. But we didn't find any beavers, though we looked and looked and looked! But no, no beavers anywhere. Holger is kafloofashooped!"

The vampires stared at them awkwardly.

"Right, so, we'll just, uh, we'll just be on our way, leave you alone now," Lee said, backing away from the crowd of vampires.

"Get them!" the vampire at the podium yelled.

As one, the quartet turned and ran. There were no vampires behind the stage, and they headed for an emergency exit with nothing in their path. Holger was the first one to reach the door, and he shoved it open, setting off an earsplitting alarm. The other three followed him out, and they ran into the alley, pursued by a massive crowd of vampires.

Jenny groaned. "Great. This vampire gathering just had to be at midnight. It couldn't be at noon."

"Well yeah, that's generally how vampires operate!" Tina said frantically.

They ran down the alleyway and into the street. At that point, they turned right.

"Are you sure staying together is such a good idea?" Tina said, panting.

Lee risked a glance behind. "There are way more of them then there are of us! Safety in numbers is probably our best bet!"

Behind them, several of the vampires turned into bats. The Canadians ran down the street and across a crosswalk without looking to make sure no cars were coming. They choked on the air as it burned against their lungs, but Lee's eyes widened as he spotted a bus halfway down the block.

"There!" he yelped, pointing at it. The group put on a burst of speed and dived on board. Lee shoved money into the slot and ushered his friends into the back as the doors closed.

"Hey!" the driver yelled. "Exact change, bub!"

"Keep it, just drive!" Jenny called back to him. The driver grumbled but put the bus in gear and drove away from the angry mob of vampires.

* * *

 **Chicago, Illinois**

Lee, Jenny, Holger, and Tina collapsed into the empty seats in the back of the bus. They looked around the nearly empty bus, breathing heavily. The bus came to another stop and pulled in, but after a minute pulled away without anybody getting on. The four sank back into their seats, relieved.

"Okay," Jenny said, panting. "That was, like, totally insane! There's no way we're going to rescue Biffy at this rate. We just ran away from a bunch of vampires–we didn't stop them, we just ran away from them! How are we going to do anything? _What_ are we even going to do?"

They sat silently. A smile crossed Lee's face.

"You know, maybe we didn't do anything to stop them in Chicago," he said. "But there's somewhere else we can take care of them."

"What do you mean?" Jenny asked. Her eyes widened. "What? No. You can't be serious. There's no way that we're going to–"

Lee nodded.

"That's nuts!" Jenny said. "We should lie low, make sure we've lost them for good!"

"No, the vurstreldamen are very persistent," Holger said. "They pursue until their prey is kafloofashoop."

Jenny groaned. "Great. So you're with Lee too?"

"So am I," Tina said. "I mean, sure, this is probably going to lead us to certain vampiric death, but what are our other options?"

"Uh, it's not just certain vampiric death, it's certain vampiric death in _St. Louis!_ " Jenny pointed out. "Hello? Am I the only one seeing this? And besides, we don't even know where they are!"

"Seven hundred two Desert Avenue," Lee said.

Jenny groaned. "Fine. Well, how are we even going to get there?"

As if to answer her question, the bus pulled into the station. The four got off and looked around.

"There's a bus schedule," Tina said, pointing to it. The group went over to the posted schedule and looked it over. True to form, a bus to St. Louis was departing in about fifteen minutes.

Jenny groaned. "I take it we're sleeping on the bus?"

"Looks like it," Lee said. "Sorry."

Jenny shrugged. "It's not your fault. I'm just not a fan of constant danger, or the distinct possibility of having all my blood sucked out."

"Yeah, well, still," Lee said. "Sorry about all this."

Holger pulled them into a big hug. Tina joined in. Eventually, they broke the hug.

"Okay," Tina said. "Let's buy our tickets."


	8. Missouri Landslide

**St. Louis, Missouri**

Four teenagers slumbered in the backseat of a red-eye bus. As it rumbled into St. Louis, Lee's head tossed to the right and hit the window. Lee woke up, rubbing his noggin, and remembered what had happened the previous day: Biffy not being at school, him getting contacted right after homeroom by the strange old man, the mad rush to assemble a team of four as the man had instructed, the visit to Detroit, the flat tires, the long wait for a mechanic, the discovery that vampires existed...

 _All that before we even got to Chicago,_ he thought. _What a day._

Lee blinked a few times as he grew more conscious and looked over at his traveling companions. They slept soundly as the bus rolled through the city. His eyes settled on his girlfriend as she lay with her head against his chest, mouth half-open with a little bit of drool leaking out. He smiled as he stared at her, and lightly put a hand on the back of her head. Tina's lips curled into a smile, and she snuggled more deeply into him.

The bus left the highway and headed down an exit for the station. As it pulled to a stop, Lee gently shook Tina awake. Tina sputtered into consciousness.

"Huh? What?" she mumbled, waking up. She looked around, remembering what had happened the previous day, and pushed herself off of Lee's chest with her right hand. She groaned. "Great. I, uh–sorry."

Lee chuckled nervously. "Yeah, uh, it's cool. I think Cam does that too. I've seen him fall asleep in class."

Tina giggled awkwardly. "Yeah..."

"Alright, everybody wake up!" the driver barked over the bus's speakers. "Welcome to St. Louis! This is your stop!"

Holger sat up, awake instantly. Jenny was slower to wake up, blinking her eyes and rubbing her head as she pushed herself upright. She groaned and rubbed her back.

"Ugh. My back's going to hurt all day," she groaned.

"Maybe Holger can help!" Holger said cheerfully. "He knows a good cure for backaches made from pickled sardines, ostrich feathers, and the ever-so-delicious emu innards. Yum!"

"Uh, no thanks," Jenny said. "I'll stick with my aching back." She stood up. "So I take it we're hunting vampires in St. Louis now?"

"That's about right," Lee said. The rest of the group stood up and headed for the door. "But first we need to figure out how to get there."

"Well how hard can it be?" Tina asked. "You have an address, right?"

"Yeah, but it could be halfway across town," Lee said. "We don't really have any idea where Desert Avenue is."

The sleep-deprived quartet stumbled out of the bus station and into the air. The sun hadn't come up yet, but the sky was starting to lighten with the first hint of sunrise. Tina looked up at the sky, smiling, and her boyfriend joined her.

"It's beautiful, isn't it," Lee said quietly.

"Yeah," Tina said quietly, nodding.

Jenny coughed loudly. "Um, hello? No time for cuteness, we have stuff to do?"

"Ja," Holger concurred. "The vurstreldamen may still be out."

Lee and Tina looked away from the sky and rejoined their friends mentally.

"Right," Tina said, trying to be businesslike. "What's–what's the first step?"

Holger shrieked and pointed at the sky. Instinctively, the rest of the group followed his finger as it targeted a surprisingly large group of bats that flew through the early morning air. They passed the group and headed for a skyscraper, flying in through a window.

After a few seconds, Jenny spoke. "So, what're the odds that that skyscraper is actually a nature refuge for bats?"

"We gotta get over there," Lee said.

* * *

 **Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

The first thing the quartet did upon reaching the street the skyscraper was located on was look for a street sign. True to form, they were on Desert Avenue.

"Well, this narrows things down," Lee said. "Good work, Holger."

Holger grinned.

"Yeah, but what do we do?" Tina asked. "I don't want to rush in there blindly, especially while the sun isn't up yet."

Jenny yawned. "We could always try and get a bit more sleep. I don't know about you, but I didn't find that bus ride very comfortable."

"That is because you do not have Holger's limber muscles," Holger said proudly. "Holger can sleep anywhere!"

"Well good for Holger," Jenny said, annoyed. "I need some coffee."

"There was an internet cafe a couple blocks back," Tina noted. "We can probably go there. They might even have a place to charge our phones!"

"Good thinking, Tina!" Lee said. "Let's go!"

* * *

 **Sparky's Internet Cafe  
St. Louis, Missouri**

Half an hour later the group had plugged into one of the charging stations and were searching the internet for information about vampires in St. Louis. Despite the high prices, they had chosen to eat at the cafe, and they absentmindedly nibbled on pastries and drank coffee as they searched for anything that might be help them prepare to go in. Unfortunately, nothing on the internet seemed very useful.

"So, I found a site full of people claiming they're vampires," Jenny finally said. "I can't tell if they're honest or delusional, though."

"Holger thinks the vurstreldamen internet people are real!" Holger said firmly. "Nobody would ever want to be a vurstreldamen. It's impossible!"

"Okay, well, is there any useful information on the site?" Tina asked.

Jenny shook her head. "I don't think so. It seems like a bunch of kooks who want to pretend to be vampires. It's all about 'vampire-friendly clubs' and 'how to tell your family you're a vampire.'"

"Ha!" Holger said. "Holger know nobody ever pretend to be vurstreldamen. Is crazy thinking!"

"So nobody's found anything?" Lee asked. Everyone shook their heads. "Then we have one lead. 702 Desert Avenue. The good news is that we know the vampires are living there. The bad news is we don't know where in the building, or even how to get in."

"Ooh! Holger have ideacake!" Holger said excitedly.

"Okay..." Lee said slowly.

"We disguise ourselves as the dancing herring here to celebrate the festival of Gunterdarmstank!" Holger said excitedly. "Then, after we have been pelted with the goodbye biscuits, we are allowed in to spread cheer and much merrymaking! We find our way up to the vurstreldamen cozy bungalows, and then we tantalize them with our fishy goodness to lure them out into the sunlight! Then poof, they burst into flames and we are victorious!"

Holger's friends stared at him silently.

"Um, Holger?" Tina finally said. "I'm pretty sure the Americans don't celebrate a festival for underarm stink."

"Is not festival for underarm stink!" Holger said, offended. "Gunterdarmstank is for remembering the time Sven Svenson defeated the giant angry bush with the hedge clippers of destiny and much sharpness!"

"How were–nevermind. I don't want to know," Jenny said. "So what, we just make our way to the apartments and blunder around again and hopefully don't die?"

"Oh, like at the carnival!" Holger said happily. "Holger did very good job at the carnival. He didn't die even once!"

Jenny gave him a strange look. "Right. So, is that what we do?"

"Uh, Tina?" Lee asked.

"What?" Tina said. She blinked. "Oh! Oh. No, I don't have any better ideas."

Lee nodded. "I guess it is."

"Holger has vurstreldamen-detecting magic powers," Holger said. "He can sense vurstreldamens easily!"

"Well then," Tina said. "I suppose that'll help us find them."


	9. Button to Button

**Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

The group peeked out from behind a corner at the skyscraper. Two uniformed doormen stood at the doors, backs straight and eyes alert.

"Is it time for the Gunterdarmstank plan now, Lee?" Holger asked eagerly.

"No," Lee said. "I don't think it'll ever be time for the Gunterdarmstank plan."

"Especially since four is better than three for hunting vampires," Tina said. "We need you with us, Holger."

"But that is beauty of Gunterdarmstank plan!" Holger argued. "It has all of us, together, dressed as herring! Nobody can resist the herring! Ooh, except Daddy Ping. Sorry Lee!"

Lee sighed. "It's fine, Holg, he's over it. But how are we going to get in?"

"Gunt–" Holger started to say.

"No," Jenny said, cutting him off. "No 'good for arm stink.'"

"Is no good for–"

"Whatever!" Jenny said. "Point is, we need a better plan to get inside."

"Then Holger have plan, in spirit of Sven Svenson!" Holger said. "Holger will use magic powers to convince doormen to not notice us as we go inside."

"Holger, you don't have..." Tina trailed off. "Your powers don't work that way. I think."

"He has powers?" Jenny whispered to Tina. Tina shrugged.

"Holger might be on to something," Lee said. "That is how Brandy got us into a building when Biffy was acting weird."

Suddenly, Lee shivered. "Geez. I hope Biffy's okay. What if he's hurt? What if he's not being held by the vampires and we're on the wrong track? What if we never find him! What if this is some sort of crazy reptilian–"

"Lee!" Tina said loudly, grabbing his arm. Lee calmed down and looked at her. "Don't worry. Let's just take care of this vampire problem and find out where Biffy's being held."

"Yeah," Lee said, more calm. "Yeah. Vampires, then Biffy."

* * *

 **Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

"This is a horrible idea," Jenny grumbled.

"I dunno, I kinda like it," Tina said. "You have to admit, it's inspired."

"It's insane is what it is!" Jenny said. "I've never even heard of this show!"

Holger gasped. "Never heard of Doctor Detective Cop? But is favorite show in home country! Always solving the case, and curing the patient!"

"That still doesn't explain why you had me give Tina my jacket," Jenny said. "Or, for that matter, why she's wearing it over her head as a turban."

"Oh! Holger almost forget!" Holger said. "Lee, you and Jenny carry Tina behind me. Don't disturb her spine or neck or head, keep them steady. That is good doctoring! Everyone ready?"

"Um, Holger, I'm having second thoughts–" Lee started to say.

"Good!" Holger exclaimed. "Then it is time for Doctor Detective Cop and Friends to take down the evil vurstreldamen!"

Holger strode out from their hiding place and headed for the vampires' headquarters. With no other options, Lee and Jenny followed, carrying Tina between them. Tina pretended to be unconscious as Holger approached the doormen. They looked at him impartially.

"Step aside, civilians!" he told them confidently. "Doctor Detective Cop is on the case!"

"No entry, kid," one of the doorman said. They stepped forward to block his path.

"Oh, nonononono, you misunderstand! I am Doctor Detective Cop, and these are my assistants, Stupidhair and Mayonnaise Teeth!"

"Hey!" Lee complained. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"My teeth aren't mayonnaise!" Jenny said at the same time. "They're perfectly normal! I don't even like mayonnaise! I prefer mustard!"

Holger ignored them. "They are helping me with a patient, Miss Tina Bobina Florentina, who has hit her head." He leaned in and said, in a stage whisper, "She is the girlfriend of Stupidhair."

"Sorry, kid, no entry," the doorman said. "Go play somewhere else."

"Then you leave Holger no choice!" Holger said.

Before Holger could do something incredibly stupid that wouldn't work, Jenny spoke up.

"Please! You have to let us in! She hit her head hard, and we're afraid she's unconscious! Just let us put her on a couch or something! It's an emergency!"

The doormen looked at each other uncertainly.

"C'mon, time is everything!" Lee said. "We told the ambulance to come here, but we need a clean place to put her!"

One of the doormen shrugged and stepped aside. The other followed suit, pushing the door open for them to enter. As soon as they went past, he followed them in. Lee and Jenny put Tina down on a couch in the lobby.

"So kid, tell me something," the doorman said to Holger. "Why'd you pull that Doctor Detective Cop routine?"

"Uh, he really is Doctor Detective Cop," Jenny fibbed.

The doorman raised an eyebrow. "Really? Ain't he...ain't you a little young to be a doctor?"

Holger giggled. "Oh, why thank you! I moisturize, every day! And I am not just doctor, I am also detective, and cop! Now, please." Holger pulled a yo-yo out of his pocket. "How would you use this?"

The man paused. "Uh, what?"

"Go on!" Holger said, smiling. "Show me how you would do this! Is necessary for interrogation!"

"What are you, some kind of a nut?" the man asked angrily. "I'm not going to use your freaking yo-yo! What interrogation, anyway? You're the one who saw everything!"

"Hol–Doctor Detective Cop!" Lee hollered. "Get over here! She's breathing unevenly."

Holger pursed his lips. "Doctor Detective Cop must go now. Must see to patient."

Holger walked over to his friends, who were gathered over a prone Tina. The doorman stared at them for a few more seconds before deciding that they were essentially harmless, if insane, and headed out to resume his post. As soon as he left, Lee straightened up and glanced around the room. It was empty except for a single employee standing behind the front desk. His eyes were fixed on them.

"So, what now?" Jenny muttered quietly.

Lee thought for a second and then whispered, "Tina! Pretend to wake up!"

Tina's eyes snapped open and she looked at him with a question in her eyes.

"Trust me," Lee whispered. "Pretend you just woke up and your head hurts or something."

"Guh!" Tina yelped, sitting up. She pressed a hand to her head. "Oh, my head! What happened?"

"You tripped and hit your head," Holger said. "Luckily I, Doctor Detective Cop, was right there! We brought you in here to rest, and wait for ambulance."

"Why is my throat so dry?" Tina asked.

Jenny gasped dramatically. "We need water!"

Lee rushed over to the front desk. Holger and Jenny helped Tina to her feet and supported her body.

"Do you have any water?" he asked the desk manager.

The desk manager shook his head.

"Okay, well, do you know where we can get some?" Lee asked.

The desk manager sighed and rolled his eyes. "I have a water bottle in the office. Do you really need it?"

"Yes!" Holger called over loudly.

The desk manager grumbled and left his post. As soon as he disappeared into the back office, Jenny and Holger let Tina down and the group ran for the elevator.

"Let's just hope this works," Lee said.

The doors opened, and the group ran in and pressed the door close button. As the doors slid shut, the desk manager exited the office. He looked around, confused.

"Where'd they go?" he asked nobody in particular.

* * *

 **Elevator of 702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

"Well, we're in," Jenny said once the doors shut.

"We'd better get going," Lee said. He reached for the elevator buttons, then stopped. "Does anybody know what floor they're on?"

"Holger know!" Holger said happily. "He use vurstreldamen magic power sense to find vurstreldamen."

The other three looked at each other, shrugged, and stepped aside. Holger pressed every button on the elevator.

Lee's jaw dropped. "Dude! Are you telling me these guys are on every floor?"

"What? No!" Holger said cheerfully. "Don't be silly! Although maybe. But, Holger need to be on every floor to make sure."

Jenny groaned. "Great. This is going to take forever."


	10. In a Nutshell

**702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Holger stuck his head out and took a big whiff of the second floor.

"No vurstreldamen here!" he said happily.

Holger pulled back into the elevator. The doors slid shut and the elevator began going up again.

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Holger stuck his head out and sniffed the third floor air.

"No vurstreldamen here, either!" Holger said.

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

Holger stuck his head out of the elevator again. He smelled the fourth floor.

"Well, we're vurstreldamen free!" he said happily. "Oh, but what if this is the wrong address? Holger worked so hard as Doctor Detective Cop to save patient Tina Bobina Florentina, girlfriend of Stupidhair!"

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue**  
 **St. Louis, Missouri**

"No, dude, seriously! You did this when I needed a fake enemy to infiltrate the Down With Lee Club, and now you're doing it again. Just tell me. What's wrong with my hair?" Lee asked as the elevator doors slid open.

"Is nothing wrong with your hair, Lee of Pings," Holger said. "Only that it is not long and glorious and uses tacky hair dye."

Lee opened his mouth to respond, then closed it and shook his head. "I'm not going to answer that. Any vampires here?"

Holger sniffed the air outside the elevator and then pulled his head back in. "Nope! No vurstreldamen on the fifth floor!"

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

"Well, how do we know that your magic powers or whatever are even working?" Jenny asked.

Holger gasped. "How can you say that? Holger's magic powers always work! Always!" He stuck his head out and sniffed the air. "And there are no vurstreldamen on this floor either."

"I dunno, Holg," Lee said. "I mean, maybe your magic powers don't have anything to do with vampires. Seriously, you spent a lot of time trying to figure out what they even were, and you still haven't really figured any of them out."

Holger gasped. "Holger has too figured out his magic powers! He just no know what all of them do yet. That's all."

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

"Holger is too magic! He knows it! And he knows how to find vurstreldamen with his magic powers! He'll prove it once vurstreldamen are found!" Holger said, upset. He sniffed the air. "And vurstreldamen will not be found here!"

The doors slid shut.

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

The doors opened. Holger sniffed the air again.

"No vurstreldamen here, either," he said.

"Ugh!" Jenny groaned. "If I wasted a bunch of my life on this elevator because your magic powers don't work!"

Jenny didn't continue.

"Then..." Tina prompted.

"Then what?" Jenny asked.

"Then what'll you do?" she asked.

"Oh. Right," Jenny said. "Uh, I guess nothing. But I'll be really annoyed, buster!" she said, directing her last sentence at Holger.

"Holger is not buster!" Holger said, affronted. "Holger is Holgermiester! Or sometimes Jorf Borf! Or like today, Doctor Detective Cop!"

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

The doors opened on the ninth floor. Holger stuck his head out and instantly recoiled.

"Oh, yes," he said, covering his nose. "This is most yesfinitely floor of vurstreldamen."

He stepped out of the elevator, sniffing the air cautiously. He frowned. "Yes, this is floor of vurstreldamen. Vurstreldamen here, vurstreldamen everywhere here! Holger is scary, friends!"

"Okay..." Jenny said. "But uh, not to be a downer, but...now what?"

"What do you mean?" Tina asked. "We stop the vampires. Duh."

"Yeah, I got that part," Jenny said. "But...how exactly are we going to do that?"

Lee slapped his forehead, annoyed.

"Alright," he sighed, "I assume none of us has any lockpicking skill?"

"Nope," Tina said.

"Uh-uh," Jenny said.

"Maybe Holger's magic powers?" Holger suggested. He pressed his fingers against his temple.

"No, Holg!" Lee said quickly, clapping a hand over Holger's mouth. "Let's not do anything loud that might wake them up."

"Okay, but uh, what _do_ we do?" Jenny asked.

Tina shrugged and leaned against a door. The handle fell downward beneath her elbow, and the door opened. Tina only managed to avoid crashing to the floor by grabbing the door handle and holding onto it tightly. Once the door had stopped moving, she slowly pulled herself to her feet. It was only then that she looked back at her companions and saw that their eyes were as wide as dinner plates.

"I guess that's one answer," she whispered.

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

The group slipped into the apartment as quietly as they could. Even Holger avoided singing sneaking music, although he had to clasp his hands over his mouth and concentrate very hard in order to avoid making any noise. They made their way over to the windows, which were covered with thick velvet curtains. Jenny peeked behind them, and rays of sunlight spilled out onto the floor. She pulled her head out and grinned at her friends. Tina smiled at her, and felt across the curtains. She found the point where they overlapped, and she and Jenny took one of the curtains while Lee and Holger took the other. Then, with a quick jerk, they pulled the curtains apart.

Sunlight came in, streaming through the windows. It hit the wall on the other side of the room and lit up the bed placed against the wall. The vampire sleeping there barely stirred as it instantly caught on fire, burning in its bed.

As the flames slowly licked at the mattress, the quartet ran out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

"Well," Tina said queasily, "I guess that's one of them."

Lee swallowed heavily. "That was disturbing."

"Yeah," Jenny said. "Are we–are we doing the right thing?"

Tina shivered. "That thing–I didn't even see its face, and he–it never did anything to us."

"This is so not like the robots," Lee muttered. "This is so not like the robots."

"But friends!" Holger said. "Are you forgetting how the vurstreldamen tried to eat us all?"

"Well, yeah, but that was only one of them," Lee said. "How do we know that this one wasn't–you know–innocent?"

"But, but their plans," Holger said. "The vurstreldamen, they were planning to take over a city. And eventually, the world! Oh, no, Holger is so scary! Vurstreldamen cannot take over the world! Is no right!"

"Holger, we don't know that we didn't just kill an innocent creature!" Tina said. "We can't know! We never saw it doing anything wrong! We just killed it because, because–"

"Because we were scared," Lee finished softly.

Holger's lips formed a hard line.

"Fine," he said angrily. "But Holger know what must be done about the vurstreldamen. Oh yes! Holger know!"

Holger set off towards the next room. Lee ran after him and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Holger," he said. "Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

"Holger know it is," Holger said. "Holger know what vurstreldamen are capable of."

"Then we're behind you," Lee said. Tina nodded, and Jenny put a hand on Holger's other shoulder. "We just–we–it's not going to be easy. Okay?"

Holger nodded and smiled. "Thank you, Lee of Pings. But time for regrets is not now. Now is time for vurstreldamen to meet their fate!"

Holger pushed down on the door handle. The one was unlocked just like the previous door.

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

There were twenty-five rooms in total on the ninth floor. Twelve on the west, thirteen on the east. By the time the group had finished with the last room on the east side, the sun had risen so high that the rays barely bathed the last vampire's bed in light.

Thirteen rooms, thirteen unlocked doors, thirteen burning vampire corpses. This was the record as the group exited the last of the eastern rooms.

"Can we take a break?" Lee asked. "We'll need to figure out what we do about the other vampires."

"Yeah," Tina said weakly. "I'm feeling nauseous." She sat down.

"But friends! We must press on!" Holger said. "We must save the world from vurstreldamen!"

"Not that I disagree with you," Lee said, "but uh, how? In case you didn't notice, all those rooms were on the east side of the building."

"Yes, so?" Holger said.

"So, it's still morning," Lee said.

"Yes," Holger agreed.

Lee paused for a few seconds to let Holger catch on. Jenny was not as kind.

"Holger, the sun won't kill them the instant we open the curtains," Jenny said. "We'll have to wait several hours and hope that nobody catches on."

Holger furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"Because the sun's on the other side of the building!" Jenny said exasperatedly.

Holger's eyes widened. "Oh, Holger is silly goosenghogen! How could Holger forget? Much apologies, friends!"

"Whoa, Holger, it's not the end of the world," Lee soothed. "We just–need to come up with a new plan. For the other vampires."

Holger calmed down slightly. "You think we can still stop the vurstreldamen even though sun is not on our side?"

"Yeah," Tina said. "I mean, the sun's going to go down eventually."

"Oh no!" Holger said. "That means vurstreldamen will wake up and eat us!"

"No, but Holger, it'll go down on the west," Lee said. "That means that if we open the curtains and wait, it should, uh, cook them–"

Tina's cheeks bulged. She rolled onto her hands and knees and puked right in front of a dead vampire's door. Holger ignored this, instead stroking his chin with a smile on his face.

"So, we play the waiting game and defeat vurstreldamen that way?" he asked. "Holger like Lee's ideacake!"

"Okay, but can we have fifteen minutes?" Jenny asked. "I don't know about you, but my breakfast feels like it's about to follow Tina's."

"Ew..." Tina said.

"Yeah, a little too much information there," Lee said.

"Fine," Holger said, slightly put out. "We will wait."


	11. Neon Blue

**A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

Every student at A. Nigma High has a different routine when it comes to lunch. Some rush to the lunchroom right away, hoping to be first in line. Some hang out by their lockers and chat with friends. Some stay in class to ask questions of the teacher; these people are generally known as nerds. And some people don't go to lunch at all, preferring to instead spend the lunch hour off-campus. Granted, this last group has dwindled in size due to the still-existing security measures, but there are students who prefer to leave campus behind as frequently as they can.

Cam's routine wasn't so much a rush to the lunchroom as an admittance that he didn't have much else to do without Lee or Holger around. Brandy's locker was on the other side of school, Cyrus always spent lunchtime practicing with the Dudes of Darkness, and his other acquaintances didn't often come to him to talk. Of course, he had always had to go to other people if he wanted to start a conversation, so this was nothing new. It's just that Cam didn't really have any need for starting a conversation with people he didn't know _that_ well.

On the whole, life was pretty good. Although, to be fair, many of the students still didn't like Cam very much due to the cheating scandal. And even the students that did were a mixed bag; some of them thought his rescue was amazing, some thought it didn't quite make up for him cheating, and some thought that he was just following Brandy's lead on the rescue. Still, the fact that he had helped save the day at A. Nigma High had gotten him some respect back from the student body.

Cam got his food from Ruthie and headed for the soda fountain. While he filled his cup, he looked around for a place to sit only to have his shoulder forcibly commandeered.

Cam looked up. "Hey, ese, what's the big idea?" he asked, upset.

"We need to speak with you," Lou said, guiding Cam away from the soda fountain.

"Whoa, who's this we, bro?" Cam asked.

Lou guided Cam to the Outcasts table. Sitting there already were Deuce Markowitz and an irritated Brandy Silver.

"So, Cam, why are we sitting with these losers?" Brandy asked.

"Hey! We're not losers, we're cursed!" Lou said defensively.

Brandy raised an eyebrow. "Sure. You're just cursed. That's all."

"We want to know where Jenny is," Deuce supplied.

"And you came to us...why?" Brandy probed.

"She's ditched us to hang out with Lee and his friends," Lou said. "And since you're his friends and Lee's not around, we figured we'd go to you for answers."

"Oh, well uh, we don't really know, so, yeah," Cam said.

"Oh really?" Lou asked. "Fact: Jenny missed school for a few days at the same time as Tina and Lee. Fact: Jenny, Tina, and Lee are all missing again. Fact: You hang out with Lee, who is currently dating Tina. Fact: Lee knows some weird stuff about the tunnels under the school. So tell me, where's Jenny, and why's she abandoning us?"

"Hmm. Let's think about that," Brandy said. "Fact: _you_ suck your thumb all the time, and _you_ eat anything and everything. Which means fact: you're two are total losers. Maybe that's why Jenny ditched you–y'know, along with having a huge crush on Lee."

"Well–where is she now?" Deuce asked.

Brandy shrugged. "Probably in Detroit."

"What?" Deuce and Lou asked simultaneously.

"I said, probably in Detroit," Brandy repeated. "Geez, get your ears checked." She turned to Cam. "They are, right? You haven't heard anything new?"

"Nada, chica," Cam said. "I'm getting kinda worried. You'd think Lee would call if there wasn't any trouble."

Brandy nodded. "Yeah. Think we should call him?"

"I dunno, you pointed out we might blow his cover. It'd–"

"B-b-b-b-b-b-word!" Deuce stammered, freaking out. "B-word! B-word! B-word! Baah! B-word!"

Lou handed his friend a paper bag. Deuce proceeded to hyperventilate into it.

"So..." Brandy asked.

"Yeah, he's got a thing about b-words," Cam said. "Totally slipped my mind. Sorry bro."

"Okay, but do you think we should call?" she asked.

Cam shrugged. "Might as well. He's probably not doing secret spy stuff during lunch."

Brandy pulled her phone out. Before she could place a call, a figure walked up behind her.

"So, Brandy, I see you finally found your social level," she purred.

Brandy spun around, scowling. "Kimmie."

"Oh, I'm sorry, was that too cruel?" Kimmie asked, putting a hand to her mouth in mock remorse. She pretended to direct her words to Lou and Deuce. "I'm sorry, I should've realized you were pitying her."

"Hey, back off, m'kay?" Cam said, upset. "Brandy's way more styling than you."

"Suuure she is," Kimmie said. "That's why she's a Glamazon, and I'm not. In Crazytown, which is where you live."

Brandy huffed. "Is there a reason you came over here?"

"Oh, yeah," Kimmie said. "To point out what a loser you are. But my time's valuable, so here's a list." She dropped a sheet of paper facedown on the table and walked away. "Ta-ta."

Brandy growled. "I hate her so much."

Cam picked up the paper and looked at it. A huge grin spread over his face.

"Oh, what, now you think Kimmie's right too?" Brandy complained. "There is no way I am–"

"Whoa, hold up, chica!" Cam said quickly. "This isn't an insult list. It's, uh–just read."

Cam held the piece of paper out to Brandy. Brandy grabbed it and scanned it, quickly at first but then more in-depth.

Brandy lowered the page. "Huh. That's good news."

"I know, right?" Cam said. "And it explains why he hasn't called us, chica! His phone was dead!"

"Let's just hope he gets out of Chicago okay," Brandy said. "I don't want to know _what_ he was doing there."

"Uh, what's going on?" Lou asked.

Cam and Brandy smiled at each other and then spoke simultaneously. "Nothing much."

"So do you know where Jenny is?" Deuce asked.

"Uh, yeah, probably in Chicago. With Lee," Brandy said. "Don't worry, she's probably fine."

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

Jenny was neither fine nor in Chicago. She was on the ninth floor of a St. Louis apartment building and her stomach felt like it was about to unleash her half-digested breakfast onto the hallway floor. Of course, this wasn't due to food poisoning so much as it was the string of kills she and her friends had just perpetrated upon some defenseless vampires.

She helped Tina pull aside the heavy curtains. The room lit up slightly, but no sunlight came in, and the vampire on the other side of the room didn't rouse at all. The quartet snuck out of the room and shut the door. They slumped against the wall next to the elevator.

"Well, that's all of them," Lee said.

"Yeah," Jenny agreed.

They sat in silence for a bit. Suddenly, Tina jolted.

"Wait," she said. "If that's all of them, then...where do we go from here?"

"We go up!" Holger said. "Maybe this is no the only floor with vurstreldamen, ya? Maybe more floors have vurstreldamen."

Jenny groaned. "Great. This is just how I wanted to spend my Tuesday. Killing vampires and needing to puke."

"How are we going to do this, anyway?" Tina asked. "I mean, the sun's not low enough on the east side to hit the vampires."

Lee's face froze.

"Run?" Jenny finally suggested.

Lee nodded. "Yeah. I think that's best."

The group boarded the elevator. Holger was the last one in, though, and he hit the button for every floor above them.

"Holger!" the other three complained.

"Vurstreldamen. Must. Be. Stopped," Holger said decisively.

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

"Oh yes, this is one. Very powerful vurstreldamen is here."

No vampires lived on the floors between the ninth and the fifteenth. The fifteenth floor, though, apparently housed a very powerful vampire if Holger's magic powers were to be trusted.

Unlike the previous floors, the fifteenth floor was a penthouse. An enormous apartment was situated near the elevator, and the open space in the hallway was filled with sunlight from the giant glass windows that formed the walls. The group shaded their eyes as they stepped into the light and looked towards the entrance of the apartment. The door to the penthouse looked identical to all the other doors they'd opened on the way, but unlike the other doors, this one refused to open when Lee walked over to the door and pulled on the handle.

"Well that's just great," Lee said, miffed. "This guy's smart enough to lock his door."

"No to be worry," Holger said. "Holger will help us with his magic powers! Fanananananananananananananananananananananananananananananana..."

Everyone else looked at each other, annoyed. Holger continued to chant, increasing the volume of his chants with each breath. Suddenly, the door swung open.

"WHAT IS IT!" a loud voice yelled.

Standing just inside the entryway was a short, bald, portly man with incredibly pale skin. He stared at them angrily.

"Uh, yeah, hi," Lee said awkwardly. "We're uh, students selling candy to fundraise for our school, and–"

"NOT INTERESTED!" the man yelled angrily, throwing the door shut and spinning around. Just before it closed, Tina grabbed it and put her library card in the way of the lock while holding onto the door so it would look like it had closed.

"How long?" she whispered.

"Twenty minutes," Jenny whispered back. "That should be enough time for him to fall asleep."

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

Tina slowly eased the door open. It didn't make a sound, and the group looked in at a completely dark room. Lee pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight, and the others followed suit.

The lights from their cell phones played across the surfaces of the room. They fell on tables, chairs, knives, rugs, and the walls–but no windows. When they came to a shut door, they carefully opened it and looked in on a bedroom. Nobody was inside, although the bed looked as though it had recently been slept in.

"Funny. I don't remember inviting you in."

The group spun around. Their lights played across the features of the bald man.

"Holger?" Jenny said nervously. "Any chance this is just a normal guy?"

"Uh, no," Holger said fearfully. "Holger is very scary this is powerful vurstreldamen."

The man let out a humorless laugh. "You're cute. You'll be even cuter once you're on my side."

"Uh, your side?" Jenny asked. "What are you talking about? We're just here to sell candy. Y'know, for school."

"Where is it, then?" the man asked. He bared his fangs.

"It's outside, we're just gonna go get it," Lee said. "So, if you'll step aside, we'll just–"

"If I don't step aside, you'll just have to _be_ my delicious treat," the man said. "So how about you come quietly?"

"Uh, no, thanks," Tina said. "We'd rather just–"

The man took a step forward.

"–RUN!" Tina yelped. The group scattered throughout the room. The vampire turned into a bat and flew over to the doorway. He turned back into his normal form and laughed as he blocked the exit.

"No way out, kiddies!" he said gleefully. "But maybe I'll let you stay for a while. All you have to do is provide the refreshments!"

"Uh, we told you, they're outside!" Jenny said frantically.

"Would you like to go get them?" he taunted. "I could see my way to making you a deal."

"What kind of a deal?" Tina asked suspiciously.

"Two leave, two remain," the vampire said. "And the two who leave never look back."

"No way, dude," Lee said. "No way we're splitting up."

"Oh really?" the vampire asked, chuckling. "Because I know that one of you is the odd one out. And one of you is just going to be so pure and good-hearted they'll sacrifice themselves for the others. In fact, I'll make it easy on you. Just tell me which one doesn't fit in among you."

"No way!" Lee said defiantly. "We stand together, no matter what–"

"It's me."

Tina, Lee, and Holger looked over at Jenny, shocked.

"Jenny, no, that's not–" Tina started to say.

"It's cool," she said, smiling at Tina weakly. "I'm used to it. I'm one of the Outcasts. Just–just take care of business, okay? And get Biffy back."

"Oh, how cute," the vampire said. "The outsider and the sacrificial lamb are one and the same. Well, I guess I can deal with only getting one of you."

The vampire stalked towards Jenny. Tina looked around the room desperately. Her eyes fell upon a shelf lined with rag dolls. She scanned them, doing her best not to gain the vampire's attention. However, the vampire was completely fixated on Jenny. As he strode towards Jenny, Tina looked at the dolls again and spotted a box of pins and a rag doll that bore a striking resemblance to the vampire.

Tina opened the box of pins, grabbed a pin, and shoved it through the knee of the rag doll. The vampire collapsed to the ground, holding his knee, and howled. He opened his eyes and focused on Tina, still holding the doll and staring at him.

"You. Little. Pest!" the vampire hissed. "The deal's off!"

The vampire transformed into a bat.

"Lee! Catch!" Tina cried, tossing the doll to her boyfriend. Lee caught it in his hands, and the bat flew towards him.

"Jenny!" Lee said, hurling it across the room. Jenny snatched it.

"Holger, open the door!" Jenny shouted. Holger ran towards the door. "Tina!"

Tina caught the pass from Jenny and ducked underneath the vampire bat. She took a couple steps out of the way and threw the doll to Lee. Lee caught it but dropped his phone. Fortunately, it was at this point that Holger opened the door. Lee ran out the door, into the hall, and yelped as the doll caught fire in the sun. He dropped the doll onto the hallway floor and let it burn.

Inside the penthouse, the bat suddenly burst into flames, fell to the ground, and transformed back into human form. The vampire screamed horrifically as it burned to death. The flames lit up the room, and Tina saw the shelves more clearly. Several of the dolls were no more than ash, but most of them were still fully intact. Tina's phone provided more light, and as she looked at the dolls she saw that there were names written on the shelf underneath each doll.

Lee walked back in, and the rest of the group joined Tina in looking at the dolls.

"So, do all of these dolls represent a vampire?" Tina mused. "Because if so, maybe we should hold on to them."

"Holger has better idea," Holger said. "We place dolls in the sun, and vurstreldamen go kafloofashoop!"

"I'm with Holger," Jenny said. "Let's get rid of these guys."

Tina nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, let's do that."

* * *

 **702 Desert Avenue  
St. Louis, Missouri**

Fifteen minutes later, there was a sizable pile of ash in a ray of sunlight outside the penthouse. On top of the pile lay several burning rag dolls.

"Huh," Tina said, examining one of the last ones. "Hold on, guys."

"What is it?" Lee asked.

"There's a tag on this. It says it was made in New Orleans. There's even an address," she pointed out.

They shared a look. "Next clue?" Lee asked.

"Next clue," Tina confirmed.

Lee and Tina shared a quick kiss before picking up the last of the dolls and putting them in the sun.


	12. A Long Wait

**Somewhere over Arkansas**

"Hey, thanks for letting us use your plane," Lee said into the phone.

"Whatever," Kimmie said. "You any closer to getting my boyfriend back?"

"No, but get this!" Lee said.

"Get what?" Kimmie asked. "Is it my boyfriend? No? Then I don't care. Get him back, _now_. And if I find out that this whole thing was just an excuse for you to have some kind of Mardi Gras vacation, I am going to make you regret it."

"Look, Kimmie–" Lee started.

"Don't try me, Ping," Kimmie snapped. "I may not be my mother, but I have access to all her resources, and if you cross me I _will_ use them. Do we understand each other?"

Lee gulped. "Yes ma'am."

"Good," Kimmie said sweetly. "Now I have a mani to get to. Ciao!"

Kimmie hung up. Lee lowered his phone.

"Well, that went well," he told his friends.

"Yeah, no duh," Tina said. "So what should we do with this flight?"

"Well, we've got cell phones and the plane has chargers," Lee said. "Anybody want to make some calls?"

Tina gasped. "My parents! I totally forgot to tell them what's going on!"

"Well, you'd better come up with something," Jenny said.

"No, _we'd_ better come up with something," Tina corrected. "We both go missing, twice in a row? They'll probably figure we're off together."

"Fine," Jenny said. "We'll talk about it. Together."

Tina and Jenny got up and walked over to the other side of the plane to have a conversation. Lee looked up at Holger.

"Hey, Holg. Anyone you wanna call?"

Holger smiled. "No, Holger is good, thank you."

Lee shrugged and placed a call.

* * *

 **Ping Residence  
Toronto, Ontario**

"Hello?" Mrs. Ping said, picking up the phone gingerly.

"Uh, hi," Lee said on the other end. "Hi Mom."

Mrs. Ping shrieked. "Albert! Get down here right now! Our son's on the phone!"

"Put it on speaker!" Mr. Ping yelled, already running towards the stairs. Halfway down, he tripped and fell. He rolled to a stop against the wall next to the door, scrambled to his feet, and hustled over to the living room.

"Lee! Are you hurt? What's wrong, where did you go!" Mrs. Ping asked frantically.

"Tell us, son!" Mr. Ping added.

"Uh, okay, guys, firstly, I'm fine," Lee said. "Secondly, I kinda got sucked into an adventure. Didn't Cam tell you?"

"No," Mr. Ping said. "We figured as much, but he didn't tell us anything."

Lee groaned. "Man! I can't believe he forgot!"

"We were just about to go down to Mann, Wurst, and Finnwich and demand some answers!" Mrs. Ping said.

"They're not involved this time," Lee said. "You know, probably. This isn't their style."

"Well where are you, Lee?" his mother asked. "Tell us so we can come get you."

Lee scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, about that. I kind of–well–can't."

"What?" Mrs. Ping asked, scared. "Why not?"

Lee sighed. "Look. I don't know how to say this, but Biffy's been kidnapped."

"Biffy?" Mr. Ping asked.

"The large boy," Mrs. Ping said. "He helped rescue me."

"Oh yeah!" Mr. Ping said. "Man, that was a relief."

"Anyway!" Mrs. Ping interjected. "What do you mean, Biffy's been kidnapped?"

"I mean–" Lee sighed. "Okay, Mom? This is going to sound weird and not really make much sense."

"What does make sense around here?" Mrs. Ping asked. "Believe me, son, I'm listening."

"Okay," Lee began. "So, on Monday I got to school and Biffy was nowhere to be found. He hadn't responded to any of my calls over the weekend, either, but I figured he was busy. I wasn't worried until I got a video message right after homeroom from some old man who claimed he had taken Biffy and if I wanted him back I'd have to get my friends together for some sort of quest. So I got everyone together, he called me back, and then told us we had to go to Detroit."

"Detroit!" his parents chorused.

"Don't worry, we're no longer there," Lee reassured them. "We're on a plane heading to New Orleans."

"And you're all safe?" Mr. Ping asked.

"Completely," Lee said.

Mr. Ping let out a sigh of relief. "Okay. So. Will you be coming home soon?"

"I hope so," Lee said. "I just wanna find Biffy and get out of here."

"Okay," Mrs. Ping said. "Well then. I can't say I approve, but Lee, do what you have to do."

"Thanks, Mom," Lee said. "I love you."

"We love you too, sweetheart," Mrs. Ping said. "Stay safe."

Mrs. Ping kissed him through the phone and hung up.

* * *

 **Police Station  
** **Toronto, Ontario**

The Kwees exited the police station, shoulders slumped and the burden of a missing daughter heavy on their minds. Mrs. Kwee sniffled into a tissue, and her husband draped a comforting arm around her shoulders. They didn't exchange any words. The thought of their daughter going missing again had taken them all away.

Mr. Kwee's phone buzzed, signaling he had a call. He ignored it. His boss could wait; after all, it's not every month that your daughter goes missing. Twice. And the Harris account didn't really matter all that much, anyway. In the grand scheme of things, who cared if his company got it or if it was some other company? Marketing was just a term for nice packaging.

His phone buzzed again. And again. And again. Finally, Mr. Kwee got sick of the constant vibrations and pulled it out of his pocket. He goggled when he saw who was calling.

Mr. Kwee quickly answered. "Tina? Tina, is that you?" he asked frantically.

"Um, yes, Dad, it is," Tina said nervously. "Listen, I can–"

"Tina, where are you?" Mr. Kwee asked. His wife clutched to his shoulder, worried and wanting to know.

"Um, I'm in America, Dad, and–"

"AMERICA?" Mr. Kwee shouted. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN AMERICA?"

"Well, um, I'm–"

"TINA! Are you in danger?" Mr. Kwee asked angrily.

"No, Dad, I'm fine–"

"Then why are you in America? Do you know how worried sick your mother and I have been? How did you even get there? Wait, is that where you went two weeks ago? What are you doing in America? Answer me!"

"I'm–"

"Answer me, Tina!"

Tina took a deep breath. "I'm looking at colleges in the States."

Mr. Kwee fell silent.

"See, I thought about it, and I realized that, uh, I should be thinking about colleges too. I mean, Ruby is, and she's only 11. So I thought, why limit myself to just Canada? There's a bunch of places–"

"Are you serious?" Mr. Kwee asked angrily.

"Yes?" Tina said nervously.

"No. Why are you really in the States, Tina?"

"I'm really here to look at colleges, I swear. I would've called, but it slipped my mind until last evening, and by then my phone was dead, so–"

"How did you even get down there?" Mr. Kwee asked, upset. "Did you–did you really skip classes just so you could visit colleges in another country? Without telling us? Are you insane?"

"Look, Dad, I get that you're worried but I'm fine, really. I just–"

"You just what? You just thought you'd leave the country without telling us? You thought you'd cut class to visit colleges? Cutting class is no way to get into college, Tina! We were worried sick! We thought you'd disappeared again! We just finished filing a police report! Meanwhile, you're missing, that Goldstein boy is missing, that Jenny girl you've been hanging around with is gone–"

Mr. Kwee suddenly stopped speaking. Tina gulped.

"It was her, wasn't it," Mr. Kwee said accusingly. "This was all that Jenny girl's idea."

"No, dad–"

"She thought it would be nice to make you sneak out of school. That girl is bad news, Tina! I want you home as soon as possible, and you are not to ever see her again, do you understand me?"

"Dad–"

"Tell me where you are, and we'll come pick you up or buy you a plane ticket or whatever you need. But you are to stay–"

"IT WAS MY IDEA, DAD!"

Mr. Kwee fell silent.

"It was my idea. I dragged Jenny along with me because I didn't want to go alone, okay? It's not Jenny's fault, it's mine. But I really want to start checking out colleges and see where I'd like to apply, and you were so busy with Ruby I didn't think you'd help, so I thought I'd have to go it alone."

Mr. Kwee didn't speak for a minute.

"You're grounded," he finally said. "You're grounded, and we're coming to get you. Where are you?"

Tina hung up.

* * *

 **Somewhere over Mississippi**

"Are you nuts?"

Tina looked at her friend. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you just–you just told your dad you ran off and took me with you! And then hung up on him! Are you insane?" Jenny asked.

Tina shrugged. "Well, I couldn't really tell him the truth, could I?"

"Well, okay, yeah, you couldn't, but–why not blame me?" Jenny asked.

"Because you're my friend, and I like seeing you around, and my dad wanted to pin all the blame on you because of course his daughter would never run off–" Tina stopped and took a deep breath. "Sorry. It's just–things have been stressful lately."

"I can tell," Jenny said. "So, if that's our cover story, should I call my mom and run with it?"

Tina nodded. "Sure. And if possible, could you figure out how we even got here?"

* * *

 **Recording Studio  
Toronto, Ontario**

Mrs. Jergens phone buzzed in her purse. She didn't notice, though, as she wasn't in the same room as the purse. Instead, she was in the recording studio, working on a new album with her band. After a few rings, her voicemail took the call.

"Hey Mom, it's me, Jenny. Y'know, your daughter?" Jenny faked a laugh. "So, you're probably wondering where I am right now. Well, I'm with Tina; we're in the States. Tina wanted to check out some colleges down here, and got me to come along, so we uh, we hitchhiked down here, and now we're checking out these colleges. Sorry I didn't call earlier, but my phone died, and there wasn't really anything I could do about that. Anyway, we're both okay and we should be on our way back soon. Love you bye!"

Jenny hung up.

* * *

 **Somewhere over Mississippi**

"So, everybody call their loved ones?" Lee asked. Tina and Jenny nodded. "Holger? You uh, you gonna call?"

"Oh, no," Holger said.

Lee raised an eyebrow. "Holg. I'm sure they want to hear from you."

"No, no, they are busy right now," Holger said. "Holger's parents are off in Russia on very important business trip. Holger promise to no call no matter how scary unless real emergency like house burn down or attack of giant lobster."

"Geez, Holger," Lee said. "I'm sorry."

"No to be worrying, Lee of Pings!" Holger said. "Holger communicate through email. Much less waking parents up at bad times."

"Okay, that uh, that actually makes sense," Lee said. "Okay. Well, I'm going to call Cam."

"Oh, I should call Ruby!" Tina said. "She deserves to know I'm okay."

"And I should totally call Lou and Deuce!" Jenny said.

"Holger, you sure?" Lee asked.

Holger groaned. "Fine. Holgermiester will compose long email to parents, telling them everything about the evil vurstreldamen and our adventures in defeating them."

"Uh, maybe don't do that," Lee said. "Maybe just talk about, like, normal stuff. You know, so they don't worry."

Holger nodded happily. "Okay!"

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

Ruby's phone went off seconds before the school bell rang. This was the only thing that saved her from Mr. Rousseau demanding she hand it over for confiscation. As soon as the bell rang, Ruby took it out. Upon seeing who it was, she quickly answered.

"Tina? Are you okay? Mom and Dad are so upset!" she hissed into the phone.

Tina smiled. "Yeah, I heard. I called them."

"Well–where are you?" Ruby asked. "Did you get kidnapped again? Are you in danger? What's going on?"

"I'm fine, Ruby, really."

"Then...lemme guess. You're with Lee." Ruby smirked.

"Uh, how did you–"

"Lee's missing, you're missing, Lee's constantly getting into weird adventures including the one that happened last time you went missing. So. Spill."

"Okay, but you have to promise not to tell anybody."

Ruby paused. "Why?"

"Seriously, Ruby, you have to promise," Tina said.

"How about I just promise not to tell Mom and Dad?"

Tina thought it over for a moment before groaning and giving in. "Fine. But this story is majorly weird."

"It involves your boyfriend. I thought that majorly weird went without saying."

Tina snickered. "True. So, it all started on Monday, when Lee gathered a bunch of us in the Genius Club. Turns out, Biffy was kidnapped, and the kidnapper had contacted us to go after him. He said there could only be four of us, so me, Lee, Jenny, and Holger ended up going to Detroit where we got attacked by a vampire–"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. A _vampire_?"

"She wanted to drink our blood and caught fire when exposed to sunlight. Also she had this servant who had to obey her. So a slave. Anyway, he told us that there was a vampire gathering in Chicago, we learned that there was a new vampire roost in St. Louis–long story short, I spent this morning opening windows because vampires don't know how to lock their doors. Also setting voodoo dolls on fire–I don't really know what that was about and I can't explain it over the phone. Just trust me, it makes sense."

"Okay, firstly, that made no sense. Are you telling me that somehow you and your boyfriend have become traveling vampire hunters?" Ruby asked incredulously.

"I know, it sounds crazy, but–yes," Tina said. "That's exactly what happened."

"And how does Biffy factor in again?" Ruby asked.

Tina groaned. "He got kidnapped. And I'd love to know we're on the right track, but we've had no contact with the kidnapper since we left school! Nothing at all! And since we got sucked into this whole vampire thing, we're just pursuing it–wait. Why are we doing this anyway? You're right, this is nuts! We're going out and hunting vampires for no reason!"

Silence fell between them.

"So what are you going to do now?" Ruby eventually said.

Tina sighed. "Go to New Orleans, try to get some explanations, and hope that Biffy was kidnapped so we'd fight vampires."

"But–"

"I know, it doesn't make any sense, but it's the only option we've really got."

"Fine," Ruby said. "But I want you to promise you'll call me every day until you get back home."

"I promise," Tina said. "I'll call you every day."

"I love you, big sis," Ruby said.

Tina smiled. "I love you too, little sis."

* * *

 **A. Nigma High  
Toronto, Ontario**

The lockers of Lou and Deuce were next to each other, so when their phones rang simultaneously they were able to shoot each other confused stares before picking up.

"Yo," Lou said.

"Hello?" Deuce asked.

"Hey guys, it's me, Jenny," Jenny said from the other end of the line.

"Jenny!" Lou said.

"We missed you!"

"Where are you?"

"What've you been up to?"

"What's Lee doing?"

"Are you with Lee?"

"Where's Tina been?"

"Yeah, Chaz sucks."

"Chaz does suck."

"Tell Tina to stop Chaz's sucking."

"What's going on with you anyway?"

"Why'd you go missing again?"

"Are you in danger?"

"Are you in trouble?"

"What's–"

"Okay, okay!" Jenny interrupted. "That's a lot of questions, and I don't have much time, but: I'm not in danger, I am with Lee and Tina, things are totally weird here as in vampire weird, and we're currently a long way from home. I'll hang out and tell you everything when I return, okay? I promise. I just wanted to check in, know what's going on at the school."

"Nothing much at all," Lou said.

"Yeah, even the tazelwurm has disappeared," Deuce added. "It's like, Barrage is kinda chill, or something? I dunno. He hasn't introduced any new security measures or called an assembly to scream at us, but you've only been gone for like a day or two."

"Okay, cool," Jenny said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta–"

"Sharpen some stakes?"

"Prepare some holy water?"

"Peel some garlic?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Love you guys. Bye!"

* * *

 **Martinez Residence  
Toronto, Ontario**

"Wow, dude," Cam said when Lee finished. "I am like, _so_ glad I didn't get to go. I mean, vampires? Not my thing, ese. Hey, are you any closer to finding Biffy?"

Lee shrugged. "Uh, maybe? I can't tell. The kidnapper hasn't contacted us since we left Canada."

"So the Lee Ping way is still in effect?" Cam asked.

"Yep."

"Good luck, ese."

"Thanks," Lee said. "We're gonna need it."


	13. At River's Edge

**Canal Boulevard  
New Orleans, Louisiana**

A black limo rolled down Canal Boulevard towards the address written on the dolls. Inside, Lee, Tina, Jenny, and Holger were reclining against the plush leather seats and sipping from bottles of water. Holger's leg twitched constantly, betraying his nervousness. Everyone else just looked tired.

"So, Holger," Lee ventured. "You seem to be the vampire expert. What should we do?"

Holger shook his head. "Holger no know anything about strange dolls of vurstreldamen. Vurstreldamen are not supposed to burst into flames because of dolls! Is crazy speaking!" Holger tittered nervously and then suddenly stopped. "So no. Holger no know what to do."

Lee sighed. "Great. Anybody else got a plan?"

"Be ready to run?" Jenny suggested.

"Keep a clear route to the exit?" Tina added.

"If we see Biffy it might be a trap?" Jenny suggested. Her friends looked at her, surprised, and she shrugged. "What? I wouldn't put it past whoever this is to have Biffy as bait. You know, more than he is already."

"Okay," Lee said. "So, our plan basically amounts to 'expect a trap.'"

Tina shrugged. "Not like it's bad advice."

Lee nodded. "Yeah. I just wish we had something a little more...concrete to go off of."

The limo slowed to a stop and pulled over to the side of a deserted road. The group got out, shut the doors, and looked around.

"Even numbers are on this side," Tina noted. "So that means..."

The group looked over to the other side of the road. There was a long line of small shops, some selling magic, some selling insurance, some selling toys. The one thing they had in common was that they were all void of customers.

Directly across from them, however, was the address they were looking for. A sign painted on the window marked it as Gabriel's Candy Shop. Like the other stores, it was deserted. Despite this, the interior was brightly lit, brightly colored, and clean. More importantly, the windows were clear, allowing the sunshine to stream in.

"Well," Lee ventured, "I don't think a vampire owns that store. Or at least, there isn't one behind the register."

The group crossed the street and pulled open the door. A small bell tinkled, and a voice from the back called out to them.

"I'll be out in a minute! Please, feel free to browse!"

The group looked around and noticed something even more important than the clean window: the building was also equipped with a skylight. Furthermore, unlike many skylights, this one looked as though someone had taken the time to make sure it was clean recently. The skylight sent even more sunlight trickling through the shop.

An old man walked out of the back room, wiping his hands on a rag. He smiled widely when he saw the teenagers.

"Welcome, welcome!" he said happily. "Sorry I wasn't here with you. The air conditioning has gone out–good thing it's November, or else the chocolate would be all melted. Just let me slip on some gloves, and I'll be able to help you."

The old man took out a pair of plastic gloves and slipped them on with ease. He wiggled his fingers and smiled at his customers.

"So what can I get you?" he asked eagerly. "Chocolates? Hard candies? Gummy worms? A sample of some or all of those?"

"Actually, we have some questions," Tina said.

"Yes!" Holger proclaimed. "Firstly, what do you know about the vurstreldamen?"

The old man looked at them, confused. Lee pressed his fingers to his temple.

"Not–not now, Holger," he said wearily.

"No interrogation?" Holger asked.

"No," Lee said. "Well, not yet."

The man started to look worried.

"Ignoring that," Tina muttered before perking up her tone, "we wanted to know if you own this store."

The old man nodded. "That I do. I'm Gabriel, and this is my shop. Why do you ask?"

"How long have you owned this place?" Tina asked, ignoring his question.

"Um, twenty-four years," Gabriel said. He looked around the group nervously. "Is there a point to these questions?"

"We were wondering if this was something besides a candy shop before," Jenny said. "You see, we found this uh, this voodoo doll, and it had this address printed on the tag, and–"

The man whirled around and headed for the back of the store.

"Hey!" Lee yelled.

The man slammed the door to the back closed and a lock clicked shut.

"So what now?" Jenny asked.

"Holger wants to know if they have candied fish eyeballs," Holger said. "They are favorite candy of next-door neighbor in home country!"

Lee looked at him oddly. "Really?"

Holger nodded enthusiastically. Lee shrugged.

"I dunno," Jenny said. "I get the feeling we should get out of here."

"Maybe not," Tina said.

"What, really?" Jenny asked. "Because that was majorly creepy. He just bolted on us!"

"Well, look around," Tina said. "The skylight, the clear windows, the clean floor? All of it says that this guy doesn't like vampires."

"Then why'd he run?" Lee asked.

"I dunno–wait. Remember that Domino guy?" Tina asked.

"Yeah..." Lee and Jenny said questioningly.

"Oh, yes!" Holger said happily. "He was so excited to begin his new life!"

"Well, like, he said he was a thrall," Tina continued. "Which means that we could all be thralls of other vampires, sent to find this guy."

"And he thinks we're here to hurt him!" Lee gasped.

"But Holger no hurt anybody!" Holger said, upset. "Holger no hurt nobody, except vurstreldamen. And people who threaten friends."

The lock on the door to the back of the store clicked and the door eased open. The group watched worriedly as it swung open with nobody behind it.

"Uh, what's going on?" Jenny whispered.

"Holger is so scary!" Holger whispered.

Tina clung to Lee's arm and they both watched the door worriedly. The old man stepped out and pointed a shotgun at them.


	14. Tea for Five

**Gabriel's Candy Shop  
New Orleans, Louisiana**

"Face the wall," Gabriel said roughly. Tina, Jenny, Lee, and Holger complied. "Alright, kiddies, what am I gonna do with you?"

"Let us go peacefully?" Holger suggested.

Gabriel barked out a laugh. "Not likely. Now get talking."

"About what?" Tina asked worriedly.

"Good question," Gabriel said, easing over to the door while keeping the shotgun aimed at them. "How about we start with why you're asking about voodoo dolls."

"How about we start with you telling us why you have a shotgun pointed at us," Lee said.

The only response was Gabriel flipping the lock on the door shut.

"To make sure you don't escape," Gabriel said, moseying over to the open sign. "Because, to quote a comic book I read when I got here, I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me."

Gabriel flipped the sign over and walked back towards the counter. He stepped behind it, gun still pointed at the four teenagers, and smiled.

"Look, we're not your enemies, okay?" Tina said nervously. "We just want to talk."

Gabriel laughed. "If that's the case, how about you get talking?"

"Fine," Jenny said bitterly. "We're here because of vampires."

Gabriel waited for her to elaborate. When she didn't, he said, "Go on."

"Oh, what, you want more?" Jenny asked angrily. "Okay, how about this. We've battled vampires in Detroit, Chicago, and St. Louis, and the trail led us here. We were thinking that maybe, just maybe, the person at this address _might_ be able to explain why whenever we took a voodoo doll resembling a vampire into the sun, it burst into flames. And why the vampires burst into flames at the same time! Now how about you tell us why you decided to point a shotgun at us!"

Gabriel exhaled heavily. He fell silent for a minute while he deliberated in his head.

"Fine," he said. "I'm an old man, and even old men must eventually give up. Come into my back room. I'll pour us some tea and explain everything."

* * *

 **Gabriel's Candy Shop  
New Orleans, Louisiana**

Within a few minutes, the group were seated around a table in the back, cups of sweet iced tea in front of them. Like the front of the store, sunlight streamed in through a skylight. Unlike the front of the store, there were drawers around the room. As the group watched, the old man opened one of them, stowed his shotgun inside, and shut the drawer, locking it. He then opened another drawer, pulled out a pistol, and holstered it in a shoulder holster he put on. He turned back to them, stepped over to the table, and took a gulp of his tea. Gabriel exhaled heavily as soon as he finished swallowing, refilled his cup from the pitcher on the table, and then sighed.

"You really want to know where the voodoo dolls come from?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, that's why we're here," Jenny said.

Gabriel clicked his tongue. "Sarcasm. It bothers you as an old man. It's a language you used to speak so well, and yet, somehow, you no longer have the energy for it. Maybe I'm alone in that, but the facade that the world is worthless, doesn't matter...somehow, it's no longer a shield. It's a weapon, used against you. Or maybe I'm just a romantic who wants to believe that our lives really matter."

Gabriel studied his cup of tea. "I like to believe my life matters. But if mine didn't, well, my master's did."

"Wait, your master?" Tina asked, surprised. "Were you a, well, a–"

Gabriel chuckled. "Slavery's been gone for a while, or so we like to believe. No, I wasn't a slave. I was an apprentice."

"Oh," Tina said. "That's–a relief."

"Is it?" Gabriel asked. "I carry a burden because of it. Not as heavy the one my master carried. At least, I don't think so. But mine, mine is still heavy." He took another drink. "I can tiptoe around this all day. So let me just ask you one thing: do you want the truth?"

"We want the truth," Lee and Tina said simultaneously.

Gabriel took another sip of his tea. "They say the truth will set you free. That's a load of baloney. The truth can chain you up as much as a lie can. Moreso, really. Especially when the truth isn't something most people would believe. Some days...some days I don't really believe it myself. But then I see another doll and I know what's going on." He sighed. "So, if you want this story, lemme tell you this: this ain't just a story of some dolls and some creatures of the night. This ain't just a story of an old man running a New Orleans candy shop. This is the story of a witch doctor's remedy going wrong. This is why you shouldn't mix alcohol and medicine. This is why we have this here, shall we say, infection, running up and down the mighty Mississippi–or thereabouts. Maybe the Central Time Zone would be more accurate, since you said it's up in Chicago now, up in Detroit."

Gabriel took the last sip of his tea. He poured himself another drink. "So if you want the story, I'm gonna warn you: this is the story of how we got vampires. In this country, at least."

* * *

 **South of Guayama, Puerto Rico  
27 years ago**

So twenty-seven years ago I was a lot younger than I am now. Would you believe I'm not even fifty? Ha! Stress ages you, kids. Bet you thought I was in my seventies–no, don't shake your heads. I feel like I'm in my seventies these days. Not just physically. Emotionally. I've seen a lot. There's a reason I decided to pull a gun on you, and it ain't just paranoia.

Well, maybe it is paranoia, but it's tough to say it ain't justified. So there I was, twenty-one and a half years old, barely old enough to drink in the U.S., and I was living in Puerto Rico. I was born there, grew up there, the whole shebang. And I grew up around the voodoo–Creole, you see. Yeah, they exist in Puerto Rico.

And the thing is, voodoo ain't just a load of baloney, or whatever you wanna call it. Voodoo actually works. There was this man–I guess you'd call him a witch doctor or something. So I was apprenticed to him–both of us were chosen by the spirits. They spoke to us.

This witch doctor, I don't wanna tell you his real name, so I'm just gonna call him the witch doctor or the master, but he was one of the best. So good, people would come from all over the island if they had something really big troubling them. And I was his apprentice, and I learned a lot from him. Like I say, the man was brilliant. He had the spirit, sure, but he also had the heart and brains to figure out exactly was going on. Whether something was going right or wrong, really, they could figure it out.

Now I don't wanna sound like a crotchety old man, but a lot of these more 'educated' folk try to play off voodoo as parlor tricks. Easy to see through if you know what to look for, they say. Nothing but cold readings that play off of people's gullibility.

Ninety, ninety-five percent of the time those educated folk are right. But that's true of anybody trying to see the future. You go to the doctor–this is a true story–you go to the doctor, tell him something's bothering you, he's gonna have an idea of what it is, ask a few questions, see if your responses point to a specific disease, then run tests to confirm you've got that disease. Voodoo practice, a lot of that is the same way. Ask a few questions, see what's really bothering them. It's not magic, it's being observant.

Ninety to ninety-five percent of the time, that is. The other five to ten percent, well, you've gotta call in the spirits. And that's where we separate the men from the boys, or, if you prefer, it's where we separate the ladies from the little girls playing dress-up.

Point is, voodoo may be just discerning what's wrong with people, and it may be a lot more uh, 'mundane' than you'd assume, but that doesn't make voodoo some kind of a con. No more than modern medicine, at least.

Now that we've got that settled, let's move on to my master and the biggest mistake he ever made.

So like I said, lots of people came from all over Puerto Rico to see him. And one of those folks happened to be a rich man. He wasn't that old, but he didn't live that well. Had a taste for fried pork, bourbon, and uh, some other substances, if you catch my drift. Not exactly the healthiest man, but he didn't wanna die–not like any of us do, sure, but he was willing to put his money where his mouth was. So he comes in, and this is what he says:

 **Rich man:** I want to live forever.  
 **My master:** Don't we all.  
 **Rich man:** I know you can help me.  
 **My master:** Perhaps. Perhaps.  
 **Rich man:** Well listen here. I'll give you three quarters of my fortune–and it's a considerable fortune–if you can do this.  
 **My master:** Perhaps. Perhaps.  
 **Rich man:** Don't toy with me, voodoo man.  
 **My master:** I don't toy with my work.  
 **Rich man:** Fine. Then lemme tell you something: I don't want any of that black juju, y'hear? I want my brain to be functional. And I want to live forever. And if you're anywhere near the man they say you are, you're gonna help me do that.

See, the thing is, my master may have been a good man and an even greater voodoo practitioner, but he was a proud man. And insulting his practice? That was one of the easiest ways to get him to do something that, if you were to ask him about it a few years later (or a few years earlier, for that matter), he'd admit was a horrible idea. So what'd he do when presented with this challenge? Well, he just stopped talking, looked over the rich man, and finally said "come back when you're dying."

My master may've been proud, but he wasn't stupid. He knew a man living forever–especially a man like that–well, that wasn't going to be good for anyone, least of all the man himself. So he spent about a week, consulted the spirits a few times, read a few textbooks on plants and their effects–don't look at me like that, you use all the tools you got. Not reading up on that stuff back then was like refusing to use the internet for research today: it's pointless, a waste of time, and more likely that you'll screw it up. So he does this research, figures out what he should do to create a potion for eternal life–or, really, something that'll technically fulfill his end of the deal, because it's not about the money for him. It's about pride. Being able to prove that yes, he can grant eternal life without resorting to the black juju–y'all call it zombification.

Remember this, kids. You ask the spirit world for something, the spirit world will often deliver– _with exact wording_. So eternal life, no zombification? There's a whole lot of gray area there. And guess who was gonna take advantage of that gray area to prove a point?

Getting back to the story, this man, aka the client, wasn't the most healthy guy, right? He comes in, one and a half years later, fresh off a heart attack, and tells us to do it. Give him the potion. So my master, who _at the time_ is having second thoughts, decides to take the potion and pour it down his throat.

Well, here's where everything goes sideways. My master hadn't figured out how to make a spell that would let the man live forever in the sense y'all are thinking of. The rich man wasn't gonna be walking the earth for eternity. No, he was going to be sleeping eternally–contingent, of course, upon having a source of oxygen. So the man wouldn't need to eat, he'd just need to breathe.

Sure, eternal sleep wasn't what the guy was going for. But it was a sight better than what he deserved. Trust me on that one. He was involved in the, shall we say, some other substances business. And he's part of why me and a lot of people in my neighborhood had to be good with a pistol.

So my master pours this eternal sleep potion down the guy's throat. Problem is, prior to coming in, this man had downed enough bourbon to put a horse under. I'm exaggerating, sure, but not by much. Alcohol and the potion didn't mix well, and instead of going to sleep, the man sunk his teeth into my master's neck and drank his blood.

Soon as he finishes, the rich man runs out the door. And no, he doesn't burst into flames. He just runs off into the distance. Meanwhile, my master's on the floor, totally unconscious, neck wound not bleeding but not looking too good, and his skin paler than it had any right to be.

So I do the only thing I can think of and dump a bucket of water on him.

That wakes him up. And he just lies there for a few seconds, staring at me, before backing himself against the wall, weeping. I try to go over, ask him what's wrong, but he yells at me to stay away. So we're on opposite sides of the room, him with his head in his hands and me still trying to understand what happened, and we stay that way for about an hour. That's when he finally gets tired of crying and tells me what went down.

Apparently, when he consulted the spirits they told him the guy was a real bloodsucker. Now, maybe my master should have figured out what was going to happen from that phrase, exact words and all that, but hindsight is 50-50. Point is, this guy's now running around with a thirst for blood, and everyone he bites is gonna turn into a vampire. That's right, my master is now a vampire with a thirst for blood, and he's barely restraining himself from digging into my neck.

But instead of biting me, my master has decided that he has to fix his mistake. The sun's going down, so he sends me out to get a list of supplies. I do that, come back, and he's got another list. Rinse and repeat, get more stuff, up until about the middle of the next day, when everything is finally prepared.

I stand back so I can run if I have to while he works on a solution. His solution? A curse. That's right, he's decided to place a curse on himself.

You're probably wondering why he'd curse himself. Thing about curses is you need to be close to somebody or have something of great value to them if you're going to curse them. But if you're part of their bloodline, you can curse yourself and your entire bloodline at the same time if you use a bloodline curse. Now guess how bloodlines work for vampires.

That's right. My master decided to curse himself so he could retroactively curse the rich man. And also any other vampires that get created as part of the bloodline. So he puts a curse on himself. And also on me. A two-parter, really. Part one says that every new vampire in the bloodline will also have two voodoo dolls created at its origin. The first one will symbolize daywalking, the second one nightwalking. Part two says where the dolls will appear: the nightwalking doll will appear at the point of creation, but the daywalking doll will appear wherever I am.

As soon as he finishes the curse, two dolls appear in the room. He takes my daywalker, throws it outside, dumps some kerosene on it, and tosses a lit match at it. Next thing you know, he's on the floor, howling as invisible fire burns his body. Through his screams, he yells at me to take the nightwalking doll and run outside. I do that, it bursts into flames, when I dare to look back in my master's place, well, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Over the next few years, dolls keep appearing by me at random times. Usually at night, so at least I have that going for me. It ain't fun to try and explain to a customer why a voodoo doll suddenly appeared in your shop out of nowhere. But whenever they appear, I do the obvious thing and set them on fire. That's why you don't see vampires in the day, or at least I hope you don't–I'm the one taking care of them.

I ended up here because the Puerto Rican vampires figured out where I was. I had to flee after a couple of months, and I got to New Orleans. Still, they found me a couple of years later.

I don't open windows, I lock my doors, I let the sun in whenever I can, and I always carry a weapon with me. That's why I put a gun to your backs. And that's why you found a voodoo doll and a vampire at the same time.

There's your voodoo doll story. Any questions?


	15. End of the Line

**Gabriel's Candy Shop  
New Orleans, Louisiana**

Once the old man had finished his story, he poured himself another cup of tea. The teenagers looked at him, stunned.

"You were around when the first vampire was created?" Tina asked.

Gabriel shrugged. "Probably. I don't know if there were others before, or others someplace else, but any vampire that comes with a voodoo doll attached, I'd bet that's one of mine."

"So wait, every time a new vampire is created you get a voodoo doll?" Lee asked.

"That is what I just said, yes," Gabriel confirmed.

"So what do we do now?" Jenny asked.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Has all this vurstreldamen fighting meant nothing?" Holger asked. "Holger was so scary, but fight vurstreldamen! Is sacred duty to Holgermiester! If it was not important, then why did we do it? Does nothing matter? Holger need to know!"

Gabriel stared into space, breathing heavily. He slammed his palms onto the table.

"Alright," he said. He stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of them.

"Kids," he began, "I'm an old man. Maybe not by age, although I'm getting there, but I've seen a lot of things. Most of them have involved vampires." He stopped pacing and stared through them. "I've spent the last twenty-seven years dealing with them. I've been confronted by vampires time and time again. I set fire to dolls every week. Every month, some vampires try to take me down. And I've kept 'em all off me, but GOD, do you know how hard it gets? I ain't getting younger, my reflexes are getting worse, and the vampires, well, they keep coming. Sooner or later, they're gonna take me down. I don't know if they're gonna turn me or anything, but I know that someday I'm gonna lose."

He focused on Holger. "You remind me a lot of me. When I got into the voodoo business, I wanted to stop evil, to break it down, to fix people's problems. But you know, before the vampire, I was starting to suspect that that wasn't gonna happen. That the universe is naturally chaotic, and staving it off does nothing important."

Gabriel stared into the distance. "So y'all fight vampires. Good for you. I don't. I just run from them. Because I don't see any way to stop them. Patient Zero is gone, and the disease is out in the world."

Gabriel sat back down in his chair heavily. "So what do you want from me? A magical spell that'll get rid of the vampires? Some quick cure-all to take it all away? It's a losing battle, and I don't think you can win, even if you took down the rich man. For all I know, he's dead too."

"Then–no hope?" Holger said, quavering. He burst into tears. "OH NO! THERE IS NO HOPE! VURSTRELDAMEN WILL KILL US ALL!"

"Whoa, Holg, it's okay!" Lee consoled, patting his friend on the back. "It's okay, we'll–"

"No!" Holger exclaimed. "Is no okay! Vurstreldamen will kill us all and there is nothing we can do!"

Holger continued crying. Tina came over to help comfort him while Jenny cast an angry look at Gabriel before joining her.

Gabriel cleared his throat. "Okay, maybe I exaggerated."

Holger stopped crying. Lee looked at Gabriel quizzically. "Exaggerated?"

Gabriel scratched the back of his head. "Okay, look. It might be possible to reverse the vampirism by destroying its original source."

"The rich man?" Tina asked.

Gabriel nodded. "The same. But I don't know where he is. He could be anywhere in the world. And I can't guarantee that it won't just be a waste of your time."

"We'll do it," Tina said. The rest of the group looked at her oddly. "What? We have to do it. For Biffy."

Lee shrugged. "Okay, I'm in. What should we do?"

"I don't _know_ ," Gabriel said. "I've been hiding out here for that exact reason."

"Group huddle!" Jenny called.

The group huddled.

"So, you think he's telling the truth?" Jenny whispered.

"I don't see why not," Lee whispered. "It adds up. Well, you know. Kind of."

"So what do we do, friends?" Holger asked happily.

"I think we should go to Puerto Rico," Tina whispered. "You know, start at the source."

Lee nodded. "Let's do it."

"I'm in," Jenny said.

"Oh, yay!" Holger cheered. "Friends, we are going to defeat the vurstreldamen!"

"Ahem."

The group broke the huddle and turned back to Gabriel, who was looking at them.

"So you decided to take on a futile quest?" Gabriel asked. He shook his head regretfully. "Good luck, kids."

"Thanks," Lee said. "We're gonna try and track him down."

The group headed towards the door. Gabriel called out to them.

"Wait. You're gonna need tools to defeat a daywalking vampire."

"You're right," Lee said. "Lemme guess, a stake through the heart?"

Gabriel snorted. "Yeah, right. You're gonna get up close and personal, then hammer a sharpened piece of wood through his chest. Nevermind that he can turn into a bat and fly away, or that he'd bite you before you could take care of business and turn you into a thrall. Yeah. Great idea, kid, but no."

"Then what?" Jenny asked. "Holy water? Garlic?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "He's not a sugar cube, and unless he's allergic to Italian food garlic's not gonna cut it either. Seriously, y'all watch too many movies."

"What do we use, then?" Tina asked.

Gabriel took out his keys, opened one of the drawers, and pulled it open, revealing an armory.

"Guns?" Lee asked, surprised.

"Yeah, oddly enough, vampires don't do very well with a hole in their heads," Gabriel said. "Or, for that matter, anywhere else in their bodies. Then again, who does?"

Lee nodded. "Fair enough. So..."

"So good luck, kid," Gabriel said, striding over to the door and unlocking it. "I'd load up if I were you. And if I get some new voodoo dolls that look like you...well, I'm sorry."

Lee smiled. "Thanks."

The group walked out to the front door. Gabriel unlocked it, and they headed over to the limo. Once inside, Lee took out his phone and placed a call.

"Hey, Kimmie?" he said once she picked up. "We need a flight to Puerto Rico. I'll explain later."


	16. Deep Water Horizon

**Somewhere over the Bermuda Triangle**

As the sun sank low in the west, a plane flew over the Caribbean sea. Onboard were four teenage passengers, all of whom were gathered around a table. The teens were talking to each other in order to plan their next move.

"We have crystal guns, plenty of crystallization liquid, an approximate destination, and a hotel for the night," Lee said. "What else do we have handy?"

"Teamwork?" Tina suggested.

"Friendship?" Holger added.

"Insanity?" Jenny guessed. "I mean, we _are_ trying to take on a daywalking vampire on its own turf."

Tina nodded. "That's a good point."

"And I don't think he has dolls," Lee said. "That's what Gabriel seemed to think, anyway."

"Maybe he does but just keeps them with him," Tina suggested.

"It doesn't really matter," Jenny said.

"Ya," Holger agreed. "If vurstreldamen has dolls, it will be hard for us to get them."

"We can entrap him, though," Tina said. "And if crystallization works on vampires the same way it does on humans..."

"We'll be able to get rid of his dolls while he's frozen!" Lee said, completing her sentence.

"Okay, but how do we know where he is?" Jenny said. "The guy said that people came from all over Puerto Rico! Plus, it's been twenty-five years. He could've moved by now."

"We go from the start," Tina said. "If we're going to investigate this thing, we need to go from where it all began: with a voodoo practitioner's hut. So we go there, see if it's still standing, and work from that."

Lee nodded. "That's a good idea. But...does anyone know where it is?"

In unison, the passengers groaned.

"Okay," Jenny said. "I think it was in south Puerto Rico?"

"And he mentioned that it was somewhere south of a city," Tina added.

"And it, uh, yeah, I got nothing," Jenny said.

"Great," Lee groaned. "How are we ever going to find this original vampire without any leads?"

"Friends!" Holger said. "Do not give up hope! Do not! Vurstreldamen fighters always find a way!"

"Holger, we're five miles over the Carribean, it's almost nighttime, we were already on an impossible quest to find a single vampire, and now we don't even know where to start searching," Jenny said. "The only way this could be more hopeless would be if the plane crashed."

It was at that point that the plane's engines cut out.

"Oh come on I was kidding!" Jenny shouted desperately.

Lee ran to the front of the plane and tugged on the door to the pilot's cabin. It was locked.

"Oh come on!" Lee complained. "Who does that on a private plane?"

"Let me!" Jenny yelled, joining him at the door. Together, they yanked at the handle. Tina and Holger joined them, but it was to no avail.

"Stand back!" Holger declared. "Holger use his magic powers!"

"Alright, fine!" Lee said. "Good luck, buddy! Guys! Look for parachutes!"

The group hunted madly through the plane, but parachutes were nowhere to be found as they gained momentum downwards.

"FananananananananananananananANANANANANANA!" Holger yelped desperately. "Oh, it is no use, friends! Holger's magic powers no work!"

"Try something else!" Jenny yelled back.

"You really think that will work?" Tina asked, shocked.

"You got a better idea?" Jenny asked.

Tina thought about it and ran over to her boyfriend.

"Lee!" she said frantically. "I love you!"

"Me too, Tina!" Lee declared. "I love you too!"

Simultaneously, they reached for each other and hugged tightly. When they tried to break the hug, they were unable to, as Holger had joined them. He clasped them both close to his chest, and they hugged them back. Jenny walked over and joined the group hug, and they held on to each other tightly as the airplane plummeted towards the ocean below.

Tears seeped out of Jenny's eyes as death approached. Lee and Tina similarly held back their sobs. Only Holger was tearless despite being the most likely of all of them to cry. He just held his friends close and breathed deeply as the plane smashed into the waves.

The plane disappeared under the waters of the Caribbean. When it resurfaced five seconds later, it was half-submerged in the water and there were no signs of life on board.

* * *

The story continues and concludes in "Open Your Eyes," posted under Cartoon X-Overs. Or you could visit my user page and work from there. Either way, the stories in this fic as well as the other three Open Your Eyes fics come to a conclusion in "Open Your Eyes."

Thanks for reading!


End file.
